[missyann]

Last night, my boyfriend and I discussed moving in together. We're both pretty serious about it and it would involve me moving into his place. I'm very nervous about invading his living space and adjusting to the new atmosphere. I've never lived with a boyfriend before and so this is a large step for me. I need advice from people who have been there and done that. What were some of the issues you ran into and how did you transition smoothly--especially if it involved you moving into his place?

[TheMainGirl]

Hello,

The step you are about to take is going to be one of the most hardest and at the same time simple steps you could take.... you know in reality there is no one that will be able to tell you exactly what to expect every relationship is different, at the end man are man and girls are girls you will have to get used to a lot of his nasty and annoying stuff that he might do and well vise versa you just need to know how to control your un likes and like everyone is going to tell you lots of "communication" to key to a successful "life with your boyfriend".....always remember man can realy be ***... when you start living with them in there own house its something about them and the place they stay at...........Good luck!

[anonymouswhitefemale]

I'm a guy...

Don't do it! We all need our space, and we don't need to wake up to "why didn't you put your bloody socks in the washing basket?", all this continous nagging (which I'm pretty sure will always happen) really help to kill any romance or attraction that might remain.

If you're not careful, you'll become his mother not his lover, and he'll hate that. Also, you get sick of people when you see them all the time, moving in with someone is a far better idea in theory than in practice...

Me, personally, I REALLY need my alone time, I need a good 4-6 hours a day alone, or I start getting annoyed. When I was living with my last girlfriend I wound up staying up later and later into the night after she went to sleep just so I could be on my own....

Think VERY hard about this.

[missyann]

Anonymouswhitefemale: First off....lol...I love your name.

Thanks for your reply. It's actually more useful, in my opinion, to hear advice from a male perspective on this particular issue. I have heard numerous horror stories that involve girlfriends turning into boyfriend's mothers and that's the last thing I'd want to turn into. My bf and I live quite independently and our relationship tends to reflect that. He has an office in his apartment and ever since we started dating, it has been off limits for me. Upon discussing the 'move-in' possibility, I assured him that the status of his office would remain the same. That would be his own space for his alone time. As far as nagging, I don't think I'm the type (yes, you're rolling your eyes right now...I know it), but because you warned me I will (if we do move in together, that is) be extra cautious of that.

When you stayed up late to get your alone time, you probably didn't want to share your reasons for doing so with your girlfriend. So I'll look for those signs. When he starts staying up late...I'll start getting worried. Lol. What are some other pet peeves you ran into when living with your girlfriend--I know most of these would be situational and personal, but if you can think of anything somewhat universal, (like the one's you've mentioned so far) that would be helpful. Thanks for the response!

[anonymouswhitefemale]

There's no such thing as a woman that doesn't nag ...

OK, er, other pet peeves...

• If I wanted to slob around and watch TV in my pants for a morning, I'd like to do that without being judged.
• Say, if I want to play a computer game, but the gf thinks they're a waste of time. She doesn't even need to say anthing, but you know what she's thinking.
• When you live with someone, you're always at their beck and call, which for me, generally means that every single time she'd come back from uni/work she'd be annoyed about something, and I'd have to sit there and listen to whatever it is and offer advice about it. Doing this is fine, I understand that women need it, but a guy doesn't need it every single day. You know, we actually don't care, we just humour you.
• You might be sat around doing something you want to do, and then get asked to do something for the gf, which obviously you can't say no to, but at that specific time you really don't want to do it, or are busy.
• Going to the shops? You do it together, doing something else? You do it together. It's like you've become siamese twins.
• You go to the pub to see your friends, and left her at home, then she'll be waiting for you to get back, "wow, you're drunk, he's a bad influence BLAH BLAH BLAH". Shut your mouth.
• You might have friends that he hates, and they'll be turning up at his house. His space will be violated, as personally, I only let select people into my house, my mojo is thrown off when I have to deal with people I don't want to in my own house.
• Sometimes it's nice to sleep alone! If you're trying to go to sleep, it's hot, and you pick that arm off you and move her over to get some more space in bed, she shuffles back up and starts hugging you again, so the guy has about 3 inches of bedspace at the edge of a double bed, with his clammy gf all over him every night.
• NAGGING
• Accounting for other persons/poor taste in the decor of your rooms.
• Watching the rubbish TV the other person wants to watch.
• You want to listen to some loud dance music? Never again when you live with your gf. Even if she puts up with it, you know that she hates it, so it just stops happening.
• Lose your independance, seriously.
• You both will become each others lives, and you will do less and less outside of that until you become one of those boring couples that even if you were friends with them in the first place, you don't want to meet them because they've both had the life sucked out of them.
• NAGGING
• It doesn't matter if you leave the dishes until tomorrow!
• Way more difficult to keep the romance/sex alive.
• NAGGING

Well, the list goes on, that's enough for now...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

There's no such thing as a woman that doesn't nag ...

OK, er, other pet peeves...

• If I wanted to slob around and watch TV in my pants for a morning, I'd like to do that without being judged.

I can do that, PJ's total or jocks...

• Say, if I want to play a computer game, but the gf thinks they're a waste of time. She doesn't even need to say anthing, but you know what she's thinking.

Mmm, are you going to ensure i also get attention? Otherwise, i can do that..

• When you live with someone, you're always at their beck and call, which for me, generally means that every single time she'd come back from uni/work she'd be annoyed about something, and I'd have to sit there and listen to whatever it is and offer advice about it. Doing this is fine, I understand that women need it, but a guy doesn't need it every single day. You know, we actually don't care, we just humour you.

Ah, marriage will do that.


You might be sat around doing something you want to do, and then get asked to do something for the gf, which obviously you can't say no to, but at that specific time you really don't want to do it, or are busy.

• Going to the shops? You do it together, doing something else? You do it together. It's like you've become siamese twins.
• You go to the pub to see your friends, and left her at home, then she'll be waiting for you to get back, "wow, you're drunk, he's a bad influence BLAH BLAH BLAH". Shut your mouth.
• You might have friends that he hates, and they'll be turning up at his house. His space will be violated, as personally, I only let select people into my house, my mojo is thrown off when I have to deal with people I don't want to in my own house.
• Sometimes it's nice to sleep alone! If you're trying to go to sleep, it's hot, and you pick that arm off you and move her over to get some more space in bed, she shuffles back up and starts hugging you again, so the guy has about 3 inches of bedspace at the edge of a double bed, with his clammy gf all over him every night.
• NAGGING
• Accounting for other persons/poor taste in the decor of your rooms.
• Watching the rubbish TV the other person wants to watch.
• You want to listen to some loud dance music? Never again when you live with your gf. Even if she puts up with it, you know that she hates it, so it just stops happening.
• Lose your independance, seriously.
• You both will become each others lives, and you will do less and less outside of that until you become one of those boring couples that even if you were friends with them in the first place, you don't want to meet them because they've both had the life sucked out of them.
• NAGGING
• It doesn't matter if you leave the dishes until tomorrow!
• Way more difficult to keep the romance/sex alive.
• NAGGING

Well, the list goes on, that's enough for now...

AND MORE NAGGING... lol.

I agree here. Women are "born" to be bloody bosses, i say, you do...

Here's your dinner, did you like it was it good? Quick comment and be complementary, oh can i take up your wardrobe space i mean, i have more clothes, don't put the toilet seat up, put the lid on the toothpaste, please assist me with the dishes after all i cooked, or do them in the morning, i cooked. Or, your not going out, i live here, i am coming, or i hate car shows, gee, i like friends, or you snore, gee, get a life, i need sleep, you sleep on the lounge............ahhhhh...

That is called independance....

And the above is called Marriage, trying to have a happy medium....

And frankly, you live in your house, i'll live in mine, and we'll have a fantastic sex life and respect for each other's "space" and live happliy every after until we can join it together from seeing how each others live, so DON'T LIVE TOGETHER, AGREED, until you are REALLY READY to give up everything and not nag, and not tell him what to do, visa versa and not have the best sex life....

Just do it slow over a long period of time, and see if you can MATCH... that lifestyle...

THE INDEPENDANT PERSON can never live with someone, end of story, ........

And the ones that want try and say " I CAN DO THAT" , well you can until you want more, "togetherness" and then it is smothered....

I think before marriage, personally, it's a good idea for sure to make sure you can live together, but in the meantime, have your own space, it's important to live your life and be you....

Plenty of time to live it for someone else, visa versa, and i think "two " independant people may just work, so if you learn to do it you will understand what a man needs in his independance......as well.......

That's my thoughts.

I wont do it again in a hurry , it sucks, and your right the sex life is non existant... but then i had a bit of controlling going on, i could have dealt with independance, no prob, as i am....

Mmmm don't do it!!!

CW

[TheMainGirl]

Soooooooooo True!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Same for a girl i hate the way my boyfriend always loves to stay home and drink during the weekends and well his **** music evey weekend is the same jams.........he annoys me soooo much!!!
Next month it will be our 1 year anniversary.........trust me I’m not one bit exited about it ever since we have lived together our lives have turn into a little something like living with my parents its a simple whatever every time he tries to talk to me about something exiting that happened in his day and well same thing with him he doesn’t give a dime what ever happened in my day.......

You really need to think if you are willing to deal with all his B.S ones he knows he has you in his life the way he wanted to…….remember girls aren’t as strong as a guys when it comes to feelings!!

There's no such thing as a woman that doesn't nag ...

OK, er, other pet peeves...

• If I wanted to slob around and watch TV in my pants for a morning, I'd like to do that without being judged.
• Say, if I want to play a computer game, but the gf thinks they're a waste of time. She doesn't even need to say anthing, but you know what she's thinking.
• When you live with someone, you're always at their beck and call, which for me, generally means that every single time she'd come back from uni/work she'd be annoyed about something, and I'd have to sit there and listen to whatever it is and offer advice about it. Doing this is fine, I understand that women need it, but a guy doesn't need it every single day. You know, we actually don't care, we just humour you.
• You might be sat around doing something you want to do, and then get asked to do something for the gf, which obviously you can't say no to, but at that specific time you really don't want to do it, or are busy.
• Going to the shops? You do it together, doing something else? You do it together. It's like you've become siamese twins.
• You go to the pub to see your friends, and left her at home, then she'll be waiting for you to get back, "wow, you're drunk, he's a bad influence BLAH BLAH BLAH". Shut your mouth.
• You might have friends that he hates, and they'll be turning up at his house. His space will be violated, as personally, I only let select people into my house, my mojo is thrown off when I have to deal with people I don't want to in my own house.
• Sometimes it's nice to sleep alone! If you're trying to go to sleep, it's hot, and you pick that arm off you and move her over to get some more space in bed, she shuffles back up and starts hugging you again, so the guy has about 3 inches of bedspace at the edge of a double bed, with his clammy gf all over him every night.
• NAGGING
• Accounting for other persons/poor taste in the decor of your rooms.
• Watching the rubbish TV the other person wants to watch.
• You want to listen to some loud dance music? Never again when you live with your gf. Even if she puts up with it, you know that she hates it, so it just stops happening.
• Lose your independance, seriously.
• You both will become each others lives, and you will do less and less outside of that until you become one of those boring couples that even if you were friends with them in the first place, you don't want to meet them because they've both had the life sucked out of them.
• NAGGING
• It doesn't matter if you leave the dishes until tomorrow!
• Way more difficult to keep the romance/sex alive.
• NAGGING

Well, the list goes on, that's enough for now...

[Fallen1]

As the above posters have mentioned there is a lot to take into consideration - your habits, his habits etc. There is a lot that can happen to sour a relationship once you decide to live together but that doesn't mean that it can't work out either. Compromising will come into play for both parties involved. Where there's a will there's a way.

[mmtgal]

Let's jus hope that things will work out. As long as you are sure and ready for everthing that the above posters said. It can be confusing