[Joejoes]

I have a concern I need a women's opinion on any help will be appreciated. My girl friend and I are in our 20s, been together for 2 years. It took me awhile to even open her up to have sex with me. Since day one we may have sex once a week maybe 2 max, but she's always says sex isn't important to her, but it is to me... it's been 2 years of this, has never let me go down on her, has never said I love you and when we do have sex it's dull anything and everything I try she won't let me do or she says it hurts even though I'm not hung like an horse. I have enough experience to know how to please a girl I'm not an expert but when she won't let me do anything my arsenal pretty much doesn't exist. She has never been the one to start sex I alway have to and she acts like it's a chore. It never starts with touching and kissing she just pushes me away it's just you want to have sex? No forplay no nothing just strait to intercorse, I have to pretty much get mad just to get her to give me 30seconds of oral.. My sex drive is evaporating and I feel like I'm going to lose my mind, I've tried to talk to her and I've tried to get her to understand and open up to me.. she's a good woman sex just doesn't exist... help?

[jns]

Some women are just not interested in sex. It is the same with some guys. I am more concerned about her never saying I love you. It would seem that there would have been an occasion where she said it if the two of you have an otherwise good relationship. It sounds like she may be consenting by words but is not physically into it. Was she sexually abused in the past?

[atskitty2]

You don't have to be large for sex to be painful for her. Maybe a physical cause for her dislike of sex should be considered. She could have a number of problems causing discomfort with intercourse. That could bring about the resistance and disdain that she seems to display.

It does seem that she has some emotional detachment tho. Have you been able to get her to discuss past sexual experience?

How is your day to day relationship otherwise? Do you live together? What is the stress level for her? does she express dissatisfaction with you in other ways?

[Claret]

Are you her first serious relationship? Does she still live at home? With her parents? Is she deeply religious? Will she sit down and talk to you about this, how open is she to sex in general? Unfortunately it doesn't seem that she is "into" this relationship. My advise to you is -- if she isn't willing to talk about it, work on it, open up herself to new experiences with sex, you will be stuck in a flat-lined relationship. Does she say she is waiting for marriage or a commitment? I'd take a good long look at where this is really going to go for you.

[WaveRider]

joejoes,

I'm sure that a small percentage of women aren't interested in sex. Never allow an exception to modify a rule.

Sexual incompatibility will put substantial and possibly destructive stress on a relationship. A woman I'm dating was in a tragic marriage. She was extremely sexually experienced and adventurous. He thought great sex was, mounting her, penetration until he came, and then going to sleep. It got so bad that when she couldn't put him off any longer, she'd bend over, let him penetrate her until her came, and then she'd walk away. She tried to teach him how to have sex. He refused to learn.

If women know good sex, they'll crave it as much as any man. Good sex for a woman is different than for a man. A lot of foreplay is necessary. Make it exciting for her. Rub her nipples on the way home from a date. Tell her how beautiful and sexy she is. Rub between her legs. Put effort in to getting her horny. Then make her cum. I can darn near guarantee you that if you go down on her and pay attention to her body movements and her sighs, you'll be very close to making her cum. When you're close, apply firm yet gentle, constant pressure on her clit with your tongue. You'll know when she cums. Your neighbors will know it, too.

[Ashlee T.]

Hey there. Does she take hormonal birth control?

[Popcorn&Candy]

If you want her to be more comfortable and at ease with you, you have to talk to her and see what she's thinking. Be kind and listen. There may be issues in her past as to why she can't get along better with you in bed. I think she does love you, but something is holding her back and you need to find out what that is. Be patient and she'll be the partner you think her to be.