[DreamP346]

My kid's babysitter/neighbor's kid is graduating high school. We got an invitation for a graduation party with a gift registry. How much would you spend?

[amy40]

Been wondering that myself. We have a HS and a college graduation. I don't know amt grads expect.
Is there a chart out there somewhere?

[atskitty2]

I have a grad party coming up too. I will probably do only $30 or so. It's a friend's daughter, so I should probably do a bit more - I just have a memory of never getting a thank you note (or in-person) when their other child graduated and I gave her a card w money.

I don't mind giving, but lack of gratitude, just leaves me bitter. It seems like an expectation that has just gone to the side of distaste in many ways. When I go to these sorts of things, I expect a festive atmosphere and a celebratory attitude. The ones I've been to recently have even asked to bring a dish to share, or had nothing in the way of munchies, no place to sit, no games... And the graduate wasn't even there.
It felt more like a designated time to drop off gifts... It has become tactless and just rude in my opinion. Maybe I'm just old fashioned and a tart.

As we've all talked before about the gifting expectations, I would do whatever seems appropriate for you, based on the relationship you have. If you know where they will attend college, you could arrange a deposit into a book account, or into a student cafe card account or something like that. Some colleges you can do that. Some probably not.

Good luck.

[DreamP346]

The ones I've been to recently have even asked to bring a dish to share, or had nothing in the way of munchies, no place to sit, no games... And the graduate wasn't even there.
It felt more like a designated time to drop off gifts... It has become tactless and just rude in my opinion.

That really happened? The rule is you don't have to bring gifts to a potluck. And the graduate not even being there! Wow! I would have just left without leaving a gift.

[Ashlee T.]

$20

My best graduation gift from high school was a small rubbermade tub full of school supplies: pencils, pens, paperclips, mini-stapler, post-its, index cards, highlighters. Not expensive if you get things like that at a dollar store, and it was stuff I used throughout all of college. (Still have some of it!)

[atskitty2]

Well, I left the card on the designated table, as apparently everyone else had done. Nobody was there, just a few family members. It was beyond awkward, and I did just leave after 10 minutes or so. It was as though they'd intended it that way...just, completely uncomfortable and I was embarrassed for them honestly. No seating anywhere for guests or memories of the high school career to share...just, an unwelcome sense I got from the time I walked up. It truly just seemed like a designated gift drop off time.

Anyway, do as you feel appropriate for the type of relationship you have.

[WaveRider]

Give the gift of life's wisdom. It's invaluable.

Many in this generation have no clue of how difficult it'll be finding a decent job. Many have been talked in to majoring in soft sciences and humanities; i.e., degrees with little-to-no marketability.

We have too many college graduates hustling for too few jobs requiring a college degree. CA has an excessive supply of lawyers, yet law schools churn out more.

My friend's kid is majoring in auto mechanics at a very highly regarded two-year program. He'll begin his career making more money than many law school graduates.

My education helped me a whole lot. It has allowed me to retire at a very, very young age. But that was in a past era. Were I graduating high school now, I'd go either hard science or a trade school. But then again, I was cut out to be a rock star, which is what I shoulda been, but record labels were serious about that talent thing, which baffles me because Kiss made out pretty well considering they had zero talent. Cheap Trick in "Surrender" called Kiss a loser of the year. Pyrotechnics diverted the audience's attention from the fact that Kiss were R&R posers. I've seen my share of excellent concerts. Not a single one needed diversions. Eric Clapton needed only a few guitars. When I saw Bon Jovi in LA, I knew I could do what he was doing except for that talent thing.

Life ain't fair. I can't hit a 95 MPH fastball. I can't do a 3-point turnaround jumper, I can't run a 4.4 40. And having no rock talent brings tears of sadness to my wistful eyes.

Go with the wisdom thing. Graduates will profit more from it than tangibles.

[amy40]

just curious, did anyone receive a thank you note?

three different events.....not one thank you note
(guess since I've sent thank you notes for same events, thought would receive at least one thanks)

[DreamP346]

Yup. I had the present mailed to this person so it arrived before the party. We got a thank you cards within days. The person is question is very well mannered. At the party, she thanked us again and was very gracious. We ended up spending about $50.

Besides being well mannered, she also isn't somebody who has had things handed to her. That probably also makes a difference.