[missyann]

I'm extremely emotional when it comes to relationships--especially serious ones. I recognize and accept that it is my personality type and I tend to be drawn to men that are more dominating and a lot of times, moody. Whenever my boyfriend yells or gets angry at me, I cry uncontrollably. But I sometimes worry that my emotional state is not the normal, healthy kind of relationship state, but rather close to being depressed. Each time I go into this phase, I beat myself up and feel pretty low for whatever it is I did to him. He, on the other hand (and he's sat me down and told me this) interprets it as a form feeling sorry for myself--and that's just how I 'deal with getting upset'. I want to disagree because while I am crying, I don't feel angry at him at all--rather scared that he's going to dump me and that I'm not good enough for him. But that could also be a form of self pity as well. Ugh...who knows. Does anyone have any insights?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I'm extremely emotional when it comes to relationships--especially serious ones. I recognize and accept that it is my personality type and I tend to be drawn to men that are more dominating and a lot of times, moody. Whenever my boyfriend yells or gets angry at me, I cry uncontrollably. But I sometimes worry that my emotional state is not the normal, healthy kind of relationship state, but rather close to being depressed. Each time I go into this phase, I beat myself up and feel pretty low for whatever it is I did to him. He, on the other hand (and he's sat me down and told me this) interprets it as a form feeling sorry for myself--and that's just how I 'deal with getting upset'. I want to disagree because while I am crying, I don't feel angry at him at all--rather scared that he's going to dump me and that I'm not good enough for him. But that could also be a form of self pity as well. Ugh...who knows. Does anyone have any insights?

Some people are more emotional than others...

It does sound like you lack a bit of confidence there..

Sometimes it stems from our childhood, no one picked you up when you fell? Didn't feel loved enough to many kids in the family? Rejection?

When you are crying, you are in a different state of mind, your not angry because your in an emotional state, not anger that's passed...

You may need to do a course in confidence building, even over the net you can do them, you shouldn't feel depressed or scared each time, waiting for him to tell you it's okay, only to go through it again and again... He is obviously a very patient person and is trying to assist so be happy there.

Other than that when your angry, why not walk away, go outside for a minute take some deep breaths, tell yourself, i'm strong and i don't need to cry... Calm down, smile and walk back inside... See if you can control some of this yourself...

As i said though some people are more emotional than other's.. But it's better to know how to control each emotion, nothing happens over night, acknowledge it and work towards bettering it for yourself and others around you.



CW

[plainjane5]

Stay positive


I do agree and think that you need a little work on your self confidence. I used to have a lot of issues with my self esteem and image. Even now I have my days and moments that I get depressed and moody and emotional. When I feel like this and how crappy I feel about myself I write a list of “Reasons Why I am Amazing”. I know it may sound corny and silly, but when you are finished you have in black and white actual reason of why you are such a great person.

Your partner seems to be honest and supportive of your “emotional moods”, but I’m sure it can be tiring. I know it was hard on my partner when I was going through my phase. A lot of people don’t understand and don’t stick around. Confidence is so much more valued than self-pity, if you will.

You should learn to feel good about yourself, with all your faults and good aspects. Everyone has good and bad sides to them and you shouldn’t feel ashamed about yourself. Be proud of yourself and everything that encompasses.

I think that once you embrace yourself this could help with some of your “emotional moods”. I’m a type of person that can’t really cry often and sometimes I wish I could because after I’ve had a good cry I feel a lot better.

If all else fails I recommend to everyone therapists. I think everyone should see would regardless of whether they believe one or not. Sometimes talking to someone can help and in these instances they know more about emotions and feelings than we do.

Good luck!

You can't learn to love yourself at someone else's expense