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Zen Den

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  • Zen Den

    Not sure which thread to put this so I am going to stick it in relationships?
    A little background on myself I am 50 years old, widowed and my sons 19 & 22 years old live at home with me. I love my sons but they are really getting on my nerves. They often don’t clean up after themselves. They do some chores but never go out of their way to do too much. I have to hide any booze because they will just drink it on me. My oldest works full time and sometimes when he puts in overtime he is making the same amount as me. Finally, after a year of complaining, he paid me $400. Hopefully, that continues. My husband was an introvert and my sons tend to be like as well. Inviting people over doesn’t sit well with them. But we do have a close relationship, maybe too close I think they need to find their own way.
    Over the years I have made a few new friendships. One of these friendships I really cherished. She recommended this guy to do my weeping tiles. The man did everything wrong and I had to get it redone. I hate this man and am trying to sue him. I have spent a ton of money on a lawyer and now we are going to trial. Even if I win it is going to be a battle to get any money out of him because he has nothing. The stress from this and losing my friend has been draining.
    I have been feeling very lonely since winter. I would like to date but the online thing just not doing it. I feel I need to connect to more people. I am a social person but after the contractor friend thing, I tread slowly. It has been raining and that hasn’t helped my loneliness.
    One of my friends just bought a trailer in a campground and I was invited for the weekend. It is fantastic, I love camping and walking around and meeting new people. There is another trailer up for sale and I most likely can get a really good deal on it. But money is tight. I have the lawyer and still want to make a patio. Then my brain is thinking do I really want to go ahead with the lawsuit, or just end it and start to heal. Maybe I can take the money for my patio which maybe I would use an hour daily to buy the trailer. Then do I tell my kids or just keep it for myself. My personal zen den. Opinions.

  • Some people are judgement proof. That means that even if you have a judgement against them you wouldn't get enough to make it worth your while. Part of the reason is the high cost of having a lawyer. You should have probably went to small claims court if negotiations for part of the money back had broken down. I can see you spending tens of thousands of dollars on a case that goes before a jury. Is the lawyer doing this on contingency?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


    • Hi Needy,
      Camping people are usually very social. That would be perfect for you!

      If you do it, keep it for you! Unless you really want your kids bringing all their friends there (and you know they would) You don't have to share everything with your kids.
      Let us know what you end up doing.



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