[ChelseaRenee]

I don't think he's being TOTALLY unreasonable here. If you don't like cum in your mouth, big fat deal. He can get over that REAL quick. Personally, I don't love it, but I do it. But that's a choice. If you REALLY don't like it, don't do it. It is NOT like he's going down on you and you're not reciprocating, so everyone saying that needs to shut up. She is going down on him, and probably bringing him to orgasm and simply "moving out of the way" before he ejaculates. If they're both making each other come, no, you are in NO way being selfish.

As for the tired thing, no, I don't get that. I have never been too tired for sex in my whole entire life, but then again, I really, really like sex. I have been woken up by being poked in the back numerous occasions, fixed THAT problem, then went right back to sleep cuddling. So my only advice would be compromise. If you're frequently too tired, maybe try once in a while to get in the mood for him. He seems like a guy who's pretty eager to please, at least let him try.

His saying you need to be more "straight forward" is plain ******. He KNOWS what I'm too tired means, and he's saying you're not being forward enough and using it as an excuse to push, then when you get upset, he can blow up and say, "Hey, you didn't EXPLICITLY tell me no sex, how was I supposed to know?!" Shut up. You knew. lmao

Also, I find it REALLY sad some of you are agreeing with the whole thing about him being too horny to cuddle. What the fraggle rock, people. THAT'S selfish. And really freakin' passive-aggressive. "Oh, she doesn't wanna get me off, well then screw her, I'm not going to touch her at all!" Get OVER it. Sex requires effort, and if you're that tired, that's not something you want to do. She didn't say it was about not wanting to be close to him. Cuddling requires no effort, and allows them to be close. How could anyone condone him acting like a jerk just because he didn't get sex?

[Little]

I can't cuddle when I'm horny and he's not. It's like torture for me. I don't agree with him on the other points like not being straightforward or that you OUGHT to let him cum in your mouth, but I am right there with him on the cuddling front. Maybe it's just a perception thing?

[ChelseaRenee]

I can't cuddle when I'm horny and he's not. It's like torture for me. I don't agree with him on the other points like not being straightforward or that you OUGHT to let him cum in your mouth, but I am right there with him on the cuddling front. Maybe it's just a perception thing?

Haha maybe so. If he's ever not in the mood and I am, I totally settle for cuddling. If I was THAT horny, I'd go masturbate. Although, I've never actually masturbated...But if I felt that strongly about the whole thing, I'd say that was an acceptable condolence prize. lmao

[CHANDLERS WISH]

I have always felt sorry for women, we have periods what's with that, have to shave legs, underarms and now there, what's with that? But i will agree, you guys do have to put in90% in order to "get it good", what's with that?

But..... A very big but......

What you put in you will recieve 10 fold don't you agree?

[free spirit]

Tired means that you should've been sexual enough to either not worry about being tired (not many guys have this problem, and it's us who do 90% of the work), or for finding some time during the day that you weren't tired. Tired means that you aren't interested enough in sex to make it a priority, and then when you have children for an excuse you can become asexual, or run your partner soley on your unsatisfying sex drive. Being happy with a rubbish sex life isn't being "man enough".


Nor is she well versed on how to treat a man. The way to a mans heart is through his stomach and penis, haha. She has no idea how to keep her man sexually satisfied, and when a man isn't satisfied, his effort in other areas of the relationship will dwindle. Not feeling like you HAVE to have sex is all well and good, but dressing sexy and cuddling and kissing a guy with absolutely no chance of anything developing is called teasing, and as rorycues rightly points out, that's worse than simply no sex.

With the guy being unsatisfied, sex will definately ruin the relationship.

No. Lack of respect and understanding will ruin a relationship. If you are in an honest and committed relationship, than a temporary lack of sex will not ruin it. That's pretty shallow. What happens when through no fault of the women, she is unable to physically have sex for months, even years?!

As for the tired part, you just don't have a clue. If a woman is too tired to fully participate in sex, it won't be worth anything to either of them. If the minute you sit down on the couch after eating supper and you can't keep your eyes open, well dog **** it, you are too tired for sex. I say hit the sack early and then wake up early. But coercing somebody into sex when they are tired will lead to resentment.

If the guy not getting it when ever he wants it ruins the relationship, then I say, good. He wasn't worth it to begin with.

[FionaDiaz]

I don't think he's being TOTALLY unreasonable here. If you don't like cum in your mouth, big fat deal... It is NOT like he's going down on you and you're not reciprocating, so everyone saying that needs to shut up.

Actually, imagine a guy going down on you or pleasing you in some way and right when you are about to peek... he stops and uses his hand... the feeling changes, I would imagine! You were being pleased by something soft, warm and wet... and you're about to peek and suddenly it changes to his hard, stiff (maybe even cold) fingers... yeah, great sex!

Apparently, her boyfriend brings her to orgasm with his mouth, if he does this to make her happy, then she should do the same for him. She should also count her blessing that he enjoys doing it for her, a couple of posts on this very site are talking about how their men won't go down on them!

I can't cuddle when I'm horny and he's not. It's like torture for me...

Same here!

No. Lack of respect and understanding will ruin a relationship.

That's true, does she not respect his desires enough, and understand how he feels in this?

That's pretty shallow. What happens when through no fault of the women, she is unable to physically have sex for months, even years?!

When can a woman not have sex for years? And if my husband could not have sex with me for YEARS there would be a big problem. Sex is an important thing in a relationship, and it's not shallow to want to be pleased.

I hate how people downsize the important of sex and say that it's shallow if you want it to be better.
[/quote]

[free spirit]

When can a woman not have sex for years? And if my husband could not have sex with me for YEARS there would be a big problem. Sex is an important thing in a relationship, and it's not shallow to want to be pleased.

I hate how people downsize the important of sex and say that it's shallow if you want it to be better.

[/quote]

How do I relate the many ways in which a woman may end up not being able to have sex? Vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitus, vaginismus, Fibromalaygia, multiple sclerosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, endometreosis. You'll never know or understand until you have had to live with chronic pain 24/7/365.

I don't think I'm downplaying the importance of sex. I'm stating the fact that respect for your partner (both with likes and dislikes and possible physical limitations) is so very very much more important than the guy not getting off cumming in his partners mouth and whining about it. Yes, lack of sexual intimacy is a strain on a relationship, but from my point of view, the OP's boyfriend sounds like he needs to grow up.

[FionaDiaz]

How do I relate the many ways in which a woman may end up not being able to have sex? Vulvodynia, vulvar vestibulitus, vaginismus, Fibromalaygia, multiple sclerosis, pelvic inflammatory disease, endometreosis. You'll never know or understand until you have had to live with chronic pain 24/7/365.

Good point, but still, not having sex for years will likely ruin a relationship...

I don't think I'm downplaying the importance of sex. I'm stating the fact that respect for your partner (both with likes and dislikes and possible physical limitations) is so very very much more important than the guy not getting off cumming in his partners mouth and whining about it. Yes, lack of sexual intimacy is a strain on a relationship, but from my point of view, the OP's boyfriend sounds like he needs to grow up.

If he does it for her why shouldn't she do it for him? I'm not going to say she needs to grow up... because most of the time we don't realize we have double standards... it's human nature.

...but I am going to say that I find it a lack of respect that she expects him to do this for her, yet she refuses to do the same for him.

We do many things in life that we don't like or don't want to do... we do our chores for our parents, we accompany our parents to places of interest to them though we may find it a bore, we stay beside our loved ones hospital beds when they are sick, and we stay up late at night with a baby who is ill or teething even though we are extremely tired.

These are things we don't want to do, or don't like to do, but we do them without complaining out of love.

Is pleasing your parenter not something you should do out of love?

[C]

IMO Nothing or nobody should force a woman to take cum into her mouth and swallow...If she does not want a man to ejaculate in her mouth, she should not have to...Each woman is different....Each woman is a wonderful woman and filling her mouth with his residue should have no bearing on who she is and what their sex life is.......If he is this one sided and needs this, then find a woman that wants it...But also remember there is not another woman as precious as you are......DO NOT go through your life trying to do this with this man....You will end up hurting yourself, probably hurting him because he can see it, and in the end sexual mating will not be what it is supposed to be....and the relationship will end....At times like this, I look at this as your being his plumber. You are not only emptying his pipes in your most sexual place there is but he wants even more.....In your mouth........It took me too many years to get to where I am in life and in my opinion should only be done in the hottest of sexual want by a woman if she wants it.....She has to be sexually alive and want to eat him up.......It should not be a here, do it hing....

What PMO is the women here that do not do this and will not do this that encourage another woman to take it in and swallow it.....You are normal and a wonderful woman.....Do not change....Nor should a woman push another woman to do something that she does not like, just to satisfy a man and change her outlook on sex the rest of her life.....We are each different and must respect this....TC, C

[free spirit]

Good point, but still, not having sex for years will likely ruin a relationship...

Not if love, open communication and mutual respect is there. You have no idea how many millions of women deal with these painful syndromes each and every day. Many of whom, have the caring non-sexual support of a loving man. Sex can not be the end all- be all of a relationship.