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Lost some Friends!

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  • Lost some Friends!

    I'm writing the whole story from my side here, I've made my own general health forum and hired a tech admin for it. I've become close friends with him for several months, but then the 1st time he had accused me to "not understand or being supportive of" another mutual online "friend", because she had broken up with her ex. I've tried to explain to him that as an asexual asocial aromantic and agender, I don't understand human relationships at all, let alone romantic ones. He had kept accusing me to not support a mutual "ex-friend", but why I had felt I had to cut him off from my life? Yesterday, he had stepped in-between the other friend and myself and had told me she had been "complaining to him" about me ranting to her about my symptoms. I hadn't picked on about her not wanting to hear me out. If she had been my friend in the first place, she should have been caring for my issues and stuff and listen to me when I had to talk to someone. I had given her support and care when she had to talk about her ex. So yeah, I has not found them both very good friends for me, hence the cutting them off from my life definitely. I've stopped going to their forums and have deleted mine. Anyways, what do you think? He had also called me a hypocrite a few times and had told me I should just "lock myself in my house" because I'm asocial and paranoid about people irl (suffering from these mental illness in life, very hard to deal with every moment alive. So yeah, I just had enough with them both.

  • If you've had enough of them both, you're probably well rid. But I see some of their comments have affected you. But you're not a perfect person: no one is. You've come with your issues and you are rightfully of the thought that your friends should listen to you and support you: not slag you off. A real friend listens and doesn't backstab. I'd find real friends who care about you and can be honest about what they're thinking to your face. Definitely move on and be glad you've found out that they are not real, true friends.


    • My feedback may be a little different than Popcorns, but here goes:

      You've made a lot of posts here about various things about yourself and in one of them you mention that you (I'm paraphrasing bc I don't remember your exact words) don't have much feeling toward other people in general but that you are obsessed with your own issues. If that is accurate, running a forum would be extremely difficult for you. People come to forums to talk about their issues, not just to hear about yours. Right? It's all about interaction and if you're not able to step outside of yourself, put yourself in someone else's shoes so that you can try to relate to their issues too, you will have a difficult time ever maintaining a forum.

      I'm concerned about your need to explain yourself with labels. "I am asexual. I am asocial. I am aromantic. I am agender." What those labels tell folks around you is, "I am not to be approached in any capacity." But why? You're here. You're likable (I like you already just from reading your posts!). You're well spoken. You seem like a reasonable human being. So why not let people you encounter in life learn WHO you are not what you've labeled yourself to be? Why box yourself in? Why not let people in on what you DO like instead of prefacing every encounter with what you DON'T like?

      "Be what you're looking for."


      • I have to agree with Beautiful Disaster's post. BD has made many valid points.



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