[Midnite22]

He states he wants nothing to do with her but every time she text , calls and ask he jumps for her, what I don't get is that she set him to go to jail and he got 13 years and sold everthing they had owned and left her children with grandparents to go do drugs and whatever , finally got clean and got custody of just one child and only has for few years and thinks everyone should support her cuz of it .. (state, him, family) borrowers money all the time but then has Guts to post on social media pictures of her out having fun at Bars, clubs ect. No money to care for your son but can do all this .. I just don't get and of course when I say How silly I think it is for him to give her money he gets mad and say she mother of my child and He thinks he owes her something . funny part he can't even pay his own bills and I help him with that . Am I just making a bigger deal out of it then I should ? I have an ex to who is father of my child and I raised my son by myself for 18 years NEVER once asking for his help .. nor do I have any contact with him. Is it just being petty? or am I looking at it all wrong ? would love some advice or hear of similar stories to help me cope , we have a great relationship together except for this problem. thanks

[Popcorn&Candy]

You're NOT being petty. There are serious issues in your relationship. I think he is being too friendly with his ex. I am not saying he has no right to be friendly, but I think things are past being friendly. He doesn't seem to respect you at all. I wouldn't give him an ultimatum of either you or her BUT I would say to him how upset you are that he doesn't show you the same loyalty. You're in a relationship with him: if he'd rather be with his ex, he needs to be honest about that. I can understand him caring about her and wanting to help - that isn't a crime - but things have gone way further now. To be honest, I'd leave the relationship. You don't have to put up with this situation and to do so I think you would be better calling it a day. You deserve better.

[Claret]

My opinion is that perhaps you don't know the full story of how and why he ended up in jail. 13 years is a long sentence and it would have had to be something really big to get a sentence like that. I don't see it as him wanting to be with her, but I do see it as him having a child with her and wanting to protect that child. How old is the child? Is there possibility that he could get custody if encouraged? Would the child want to change custodial parents? I think you need to delve deeper into what happened, and to what he thinks, feels, wants and is willing to work toward now. Can you handle things if they aren't the way you want?

[atskitty2]

Do I think you're being petty? No. Actually I think the opposite. I think you're not taking this seriously enough.
How long have you been together?

I'd be doing some real investigation into what this relationship could hold for me, if I were you. I'm guessing there's a lot you're not privy to. Try to remove your feelings, the romantic notions you have toward him and evaluate the situation.

Could potentially be a deal breaker for me. I'm willing to take a back seat to the kids but not to their mother, though I could understand circumstances that I'd need to be secondary to her.

[Midnite22]

Thanks for all the positive feedback. I was short on the whole situation but I know how he got to jail and it was not all her fault ( they both were part of it ) she just got lighter sentence because of being female and pregnant at the time with the said about child. child is 15 and really missed his whole growing up due to being in Jail. I really just needed to vent because I can't tell anyone who knows us about it because they all THINK he is wonderful and totally in love with me and He does anything for me and we had a past long long before he even meet his ex but we were just kids ( young love) and all these years we still remanded friends and I wrote to him in jail and when he got out it was going be just for coffee and visit and it's now almost 2 years and we don't spend a day apart .. I am hoping once the child is an adult 18 that she will just fade away. And its just the matter of him doing what he feels he owes the child for missing out of his life. * but knowing she uses the money for herself and not that child is so Sad. Thanks everyone

[Popcorn&Candy]

I was glad to help. I hope you are happy and and have a good relationship with him.