[amy40]

Never know why they do what they do.

agree

[a_dub]

Wow women really do go through so much more drama than men. I don't think this would be an issue with us guys.

I was supposed to hang out with a buddy of mine in Detroit this memorial day weekend...but I had a family emergency and he asked me cut the trip short by a day and half because he has a new girl coming over. Due to the chaos, I just cancelled it alltogether. No drama, no mess.

[Texasred]

I can empathize a little - to the extent that men have empathy! I had a guy working for me some years ago, great guy, but younger and he needed a little guidance. It never was an issue, though, I left that company after 10 years, and now almost 30 years later we're still good friends.
Dont know that this helps you any, but I'd wait it out.

[atskitty2]

A-dub there are some men I've known over the years that are more drama-filled than the worst women I've known. Tho' I do think in general women are more like to be involved in the confusion.

Any thoughts on why that is?

[Texasred]

I don't know why it is, but there are some people who just seem to crave drama, and will create it where it doesn't exist.

[Popcorn&Candy]

I have to agree, Texasred. There ARE people who create drama and thrive off it. Thankfully I am not one of those people.

[Ashlee T.]

I agree with adub. Having worked in environments that were predominantly male and others (like this one) that are predominantly female, the drama is MUCH more present with the latter. There are always exceptions to the rule, but it seems that men are not necessary LESS emotional they just are more prone to compartmentalize their emotions. For example, the environment I worked in that was nearly all male: They were certainly competitive. They had their likes and dislikes of each other. But from the outside looking in it was never really apparent. There was never anyone pouting because they got upset with something one of the other guys did. There was no cold shoulder. The men just didn't seem to get upset much.

Fast forward to predominantly women: TOTAL opposite. On any given week, someone is in their office crying, in someone else's office talking about the person down the hall, complaining about their workload, whining because this person gets to do this and they don't, upset that someone said something in a "tone" they didn't like......etc. I'm not exaggerating.

I have NEVER had a guy friend give me the cold shoulder over something I didn't even know I did. I have also never had a male coworker treat me in a way that made me think "Is he upset with me over something?"

The differences in the dynamics are very interesting. I guess it's clear which one I prefer. As for my current issue, I believe that if my mindset were coherent and reasonable enough to think "I better keep my distance so I don't ruin our relationship", I would also be clear enough to tell myself that I must not allow my behavior toward that person to reflect anything abnormal. If I knew it was just something I needed to "get over", I would not make her pay the price for that by treating her differently. On the other hand, if I felt she had truly done something wrong to me, I would tell her. And if I felt uncomfortable bringing it up, I would CERTAINLY tell her when she asked me multiple times if everything was okay.

[jns]

I agree with adub. Having worked in environments that were predominantly male and others (like this one) that are predominantly female, the drama is MUCH more present with the latter. There are always exceptions to the rule, but it seems that men are not necessary LESS emotional they just are more prone to compartmentalize their emotions. For example, the environment I worked in that was nearly all male: They were certainly competitive. They had their likes and dislikes of each other. But from the outside looking in it was never really apparent. There was never anyone pouting because they got upset with something one of the other guys did. There was no cold shoulder. The men just didn't seem to get upset much.

Fast forward to predominantly women: TOTAL opposite. On any given week, someone is in their office crying, in someone else's office talking about the person down the hall, complaining about their workload, whining because this person gets to do this and they don't, upset that someone said something in a "tone" they didn't like......etc. I'm not exaggerating.

I have NEVER had a guy friend give me the cold shoulder over something I didn't even know I did. I have also never had a male coworker treat me in a way that made me think "Is he upset with me over something?"

The differences in the dynamics are very interesting. I guess it's clear which one I prefer. As for my current issue, I believe that if my mindset were coherent and reasonable enough to think "I better keep my distance so I don't ruin our relationship", I would also be clear enough to tell myself that I must not allow my behavior toward that person to reflect anything abnormal. If I knew it was just something I needed to "get over", I would not make her pay the price for that by treating her differently. On the other hand, if I felt she had truly done something wrong to me, I would tell her. And if I felt uncomfortable bringing it up, I would CERTAINLY tell her when she asked me multiple times if everything was okay.

It is always good to hear from someone who has actually experienced something instead of always "data from studies".

[atskitty2]

Why do you think women are like this? Is it our hormones?

I was never one of those women, and generally steer away from the drama in any setting, work or personal life. Even when I was younger. I think I went through a phase that I involved myself in some antics, but quickly found my fault and made it right...

I've worked with some vicious women, and never understood the motivation other than pure meanness and/or jealousy.

Any other thoughts?

The men I've seen behave this way has been more out of ambition I thought. An intense drive and the willingness to step on anyone and everyone to accomplish a goal. In so doing, typically ruined their reputation however. It seems that it's expected and nearly acceptable for women, but a man who involved himself in these situations is less accepted by his peers or superiors...
Anyone with similar experience?

[amy40]

don't remember much drama from any jobs but maybe it's because I never worked yrs and yrs at any one job
longest ever worked anywhere was about 4 yrs
anywhere else when a yr hit was ready to move on to something else