[sungoddesschelsy]

We broke up months ago now.... I had to move to my parents, out of MY own apartment because I knew he'd never leave and things would keep getting worse. I lived with my parents for a few months and wasn't really bothered by him, now that I've moved back out into my own place again he's found me... someone must have seen me and let him know where I'm living.
The first time he was outside the building ringing my bell and I yelled out the window at him that I'd call the police and he did leave. He's since shown up 3 more times crying on my doorstep, once he was actually in the building when I came home from work.

He knows this is the hardest thing I've ever had to do... and he is purposely making it harder on me Thats how it feels anyway.... As if I'm not having a hard enough time trying to live my life, I need a man that only wants to take from me.

If you truely love a person would you let them go if they told you they couldn't be happy with you?

[GUEST]

Yes.

I'd also highly recommend that you start documenting all of his behavior including dates, times, location and what took place.

[Ashlee T.]

He will stop. Eventually. You've just got to stay tough and do what you know is right for you. People don't like to lose, in anything. He feels like he lost. I don't know your past with him in detail, but I know if he had been treating you like you needed to be treated, you wouldn't be going through this. You just have to keep reminding yourself that you were not happy, and you would not be happy this time around either.

Tell him firmly next time he contacts you that the contact must stop and that if he shows up at your work or home another time, you will be forced to get a restraining order. Put yourself and your safety first.

He'll get over it. He will. And so will you. Don't allow him to manipulate you in this way by making you regret or doubt not being with him. You know what is right for you.

[sungoddesschelsy]

He's almost made me hate having such a big heart

I have been documenting all of his attempts, I felt this would happen eventually. I just wished it wouldn't.

[Ashlee T.]

I can relate somewhat. After breaking up from a 5 year relationship with a man I so truly loved, he would come to my apartment complex and sit out on and the sidewalk and cry while texting over and over and calling over and over. I had already moved on, and sometimes I'd be in my apt with my new boyfriend while he was out there. It went on for a while until he met someone else. He married her and now has a child, and still periodically contacts me to tell me he'll never stop loving me. Odd? Yeah, definitely. But you will get past it. The fact you feel hurt for him because he's hurting speaks volumes about your character. Dont' let it get the best of you though. It will pass.

[WildChild]

You have to remember that from his side this has nothing to do with your happiness and everything to do with control and his needs. He may eventually give up but there is also a possibility that he could become aggressive when he realizes that you are serious. Take care. Be wary of him. Statistically more women are hurt or killed when the man realizes that she is serious and it is over.

Speaking as a property manager, talk to your management. I've dealt with tenants being stalked and with their permission, gave out a description and a brief explanation that this person is trying to access the building to harrass one of their neighbors. It makes it far less likely that he will get in. If you get a restraining order, give a copy to the manager, they can also call the police and sign a complaint if he shows up on the property.

[sungoddesschelsy]

I've told the people that live on my floor, because one of them told me he let him in. My ex told him that he was my boyfriend but that he'd forgotten his keys and couldn't get into the building....
So I have told the people on my floor but I live on the 3rd... I really don't want to have to tell everyone my business, because I still don't know who told him where I live. He's got alot of friends I'd never met and I'm worried it could even be someone within my building.

We were together for 4 years... I was so... raw... for lack of a better word... I tried so hard to make everything perfect I lost track of living for myself.