[fireelement]

hello. i work in a gym and there's a regular user who comes in daily. we're total strangers, we've never talked, had no eye contact and stuff; he does his stuff, i do mine but... i am extremely attracted to him. i've been trying to figure out why and how; the science of it, but i know that i do like tall men and he's tall, got a unique hairstyle (no one has his hairstyle in that gym) and quite built. i must say that there are other users there who are more handsome and built than he is but somehow, this guy's just got me going head over heels for him, it's exhausting... and i don't know why. Plus i think maybe my brain is tricking me into feeling that probably he's also attracted to me.

i can't explain how i feel or how it is but whenever he comes, sure i feel my own attraction towards him go crazy but despite the total no talking and no eye contact ever, i kind of feel something from him too; like there's a tension/thing between us. when he works out alone, i feel his "aura" more than when he works out with his friends. feels like he would "hide" a bit of what he's feeling around his friends. this one is rare but once in a while i would catch him taking super quick glances at me (i try to glance at him too) and by the time i look at him, he already looked away or is at the point of looking away. and sometimes his body (front side), when he sits or exercises, would face me (or he could just be facing in my direction but not me). he would walk in front of my counter quite a few times (there was a time i was outside the gym and my body faced the locker and he just walked right to where i was facing; yeah he was putting something in the locker). when he's with his friends, he seems jumpier especially when he's near me; he does these cute skips, hops, tiny runs? sometimes i feel he would try to lessen the gap between us by walking in front of my counter a lot, or exercising at the nearest spot beside my counter, and placing and taking equipment from there.

could it be he knows i'm attracted to him? i'm afraid i may have given off my signals without me realising or can he feel the attraction and is he trying to make me not like him? is it his pheromones making me so attracted to him, because i just don't look at the other guys (they're hot but why this one?) gosh this is killing me. haha i just want to know what he's doing, i mean it would be nice to know if he's also attracted to me too. but sad to say, i don't suppose i'm his type, we're like out of each other's league.

[jns]

Attraction is such a strange thing at times. You know that you are attracted but cannot figure out why. I would bet that he knows something is up with you but doesn't know exactly what it is. Maybe it is a pheromone thing that is attracting you to him as pheromones are supposed to be carried by sweat and a good workout creates sweat. Of course, it could instead be conscious and unconscious flirting.

[Kayla Lords]

If it's not against your gym's policy on how you interact with members, why not strike up a conversation with him? A lot could happen from realizing you were more interested in the fantasy of him to finding out you're both into each other (and a lot in between). But either way, you'd have a better idea one way or another and wouldn't have to live in suspense.

If that's not an option, for any reason, I'd be less inclined to dwell on the why and what-if (especially if you'll never actually know one way or the other) and let yourself fantasize and daydream -- the stories you make up in your head about this guy could be great for masturbating.

[atskitty2]

I'm not sure we'll ever understand attraction. I know there's lots of research out there and it is certainly an interesting thing to think about.

When I was in my 20's, I had a mad crush on one of the cleaning crew at my office job. I waited anxiously each day to see them come around the corner. I was married, he was married, but I had this attraction to him, and I never understood why. He wasn't conventionally good-looking, he was a little over weight, and wasn't even all that intelligent (once I got to know him) but I couldn't stop watching him. We talked, we made polite conversation and that was about it, but I've always remembered how my younger self was taken by the intensity of that attraction to this man. He was a nice guy and all, but my thoughts of him were insanely constant and I was interested in knowing what a life with him would be like.

Hindsight, now many years later, I think it was largely boredom. Not to diminish his value, but I really think I was just bored at work, and he had a certain mannerism that was confident, cute and sort of innocent.

So, my point is, you may just need a little work crush to make the day to day grind a little more bearable. It's fun to have a little fantasy going while you do what you have to do. You can choose to continue with that, and make it fun for yourself, or you can think about whether this is something you actually want to pursue.

There's no wrong answer here. It almost seems from your post that you would rather not have this happening. If that is true, then make the choice to stop paying him your attention, and focus elsewhere. If you would like to continue, then acknowledge it as an attraction, a crush and just enjoy it for what it is. Another option is to make an effort to see if there's mutual interest there, if it isn't violating your employee standards and boundaries guidelines.

Most of all, don't over think it too much. Attraction just happens, we can't really help that. What we do with it - how we respond to our feelings is what matters.

[fireelement]

hello jns Kayla Lords atskitty2

thank you for taking the time to read and reply to my lengthy post. reading all your replies made me take a step back and analyse everything once more before taking any action. attraction sure is something that could be unfathomable, and the human brain and feelings simply like to exaggerate and complicate things. i surely would never understand it, no matter what. looking at the situation between us, i'm just going to enjoy this feeling. i'm sure it'll pass. as much as i do hope he would like me too, i feel it would be a wrong move to hope for something in return. so i'll just enjoy this feeling while it's still around. dream until i wake up one day thanks!