[rcoreyus]

I've seen a number of posts where someone has gone through their SOs email, cell phone, etc. and found evidence of cheating.

Has anyone ever spied on their SO and become convinced that they were NOT doing anything wrong? Did that make you happy with your relationship, or did you feel that you just hadn't caught them yet.

[WildChild]

The urge to do that kind of checking up comes two sources; insecurity or some sort of warning signs. My past experience with a cheating ex was that once I wised up, I always knew when he'd found another one. It might have seemed subconscious but there were subtle clues in his behavior.

The insecure person seems to assume everyone does it and isn't able to trust. The man in my life now has dealt with quite a bit of that and I think sometimes he's a little unsure how to deal with the fact that I trust him completely. At first he tended to check, 'did it bother you that I noticed that woman?' Now I think he kind of enjoys it, he can relax a bit. I've wondered how often someone has felt pushed into something because they've already been suspected.

One other biggie seems to be that cheaters often accuse their partner of cheating. I haven't and don't do this kind of checking. If I were to feel I needed to it would be a warning sign that there was trouble brewing.

[marmar86]

Well I have to admit. In one relationship I was in, I felt that my boyfriend could have been cheating even though I didnt have any strong evidence. So I decided to investigate. I found absolutely nothing. And I was satisfied. But I felt so guilty. I definitely believed that he wasnt cheating after I did thorough investigating. I admit that it made me feel a lot better about our relationship, but at the same time I have never done it to anyone else again because I felt more guilty than I did satisfied.

[Guest]

i've often wondered why people would commit what can be a crime, to check up on a spouse or significant other.