Yes, fellow Aussie here!
My husband has no problems with seeing me as sexy...Haha. He think's I'm the sexiest thing on 2 legs & tells me that quite often.
I do dress "feminine", I have long nails (yet routinely break them when I'm working with the horses).
When we first met & were dating, we got ALOT of attention for the height difference. Men have always showed me alot of attention. I'm tall, blonde & have big boobs(granted I've put on about 10kg's that I shouldn't have...but Hubby said I've got better curves & bigger boobs now, so he loves it! Go figure). LOL But now, I don't like the attention, or people staring at us (and yes, they do stare, espeically if I wear heels).
I can feel sexy & dress sexy (but not when it comes to sexy lingerie & sex)....but find it hard with him, I don't know if maybe because he's not as fit as he was...maybe that has something to do with it(double standard I know)???...That makes me sound like such a horrible person.
I find it uncomfortable when we have sex. I just feel sort of like a fish in a fish bowl, the way he looks at me. I know it's because he loves me, but it makes me feel uncomfortable being the "centre" of attention. Yet I can walk around the house nude...but when it comes to actually having sex, with him....not so comfortable then.
Geez, that's doesn't even make sense to me....
No I haven't said anything to my husband. It would hurt him & I couldn't do that....he's really done nothing wrong.
I just don't "lust" after him like I used to...When we met, I felt safe with him. That's why I stayed with him. I'd never had that with a man before.
I was abused as a child, and consequently got all my 'confidence' from men as a teen. I was soooooo looking for attention in the wrong ways. When I met him & he was nice...had a future infront of him....I wasn't letting that go. And sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision...Did I settle for the 1st person that treated me right...
I still have problems with depression. I know that & being by myslef all the time isn't helping. And it's been so hard with the new property & handling it on my own...And I've also got mild OCD, so when I get something in my head...it's hard to get it out. Especially when I have no one to bounce my thoughts off.
I've always had problems with people touching me & I do have trust issues. Even to the point, where I think I've only hugged my mum 3 times in the last 8 yrs. The worst part of my wedding day, was when people were coming up & hugging me.
Some people I feel comfortable enough with, that I can hug them. But there isn't many.
Argh...I'm such a bloody whinger. Sorry guys.
Just have so many thoughts running through my head...it helps to write them down I guess.
Oh & the trip is to go to his work Christmas party. I just hope everything will be alright here at home, while I'm gone....
I really worry about my horses.
Lately everything has just been going wrong...It's been one problem after the next & it's getting me down.
My husband has no problems with seeing me as sexy...Haha. He think's I'm the sexiest thing on 2 legs & tells me that quite often.
I do dress "feminine", I have long nails (yet routinely break them when I'm working with the horses).
When we first met & were dating, we got ALOT of attention for the height difference. Men have always showed me alot of attention. I'm tall, blonde & have big boobs(granted I've put on about 10kg's that I shouldn't have...but Hubby said I've got better curves & bigger boobs now, so he loves it! Go figure). LOL But now, I don't like the attention, or people staring at us (and yes, they do stare, espeically if I wear heels).
I can feel sexy & dress sexy (but not when it comes to sexy lingerie & sex)....but find it hard with him, I don't know if maybe because he's not as fit as he was...maybe that has something to do with it(double standard I know)???...That makes me sound like such a horrible person.
I find it uncomfortable when we have sex. I just feel sort of like a fish in a fish bowl, the way he looks at me. I know it's because he loves me, but it makes me feel uncomfortable being the "centre" of attention. Yet I can walk around the house nude...but when it comes to actually having sex, with him....not so comfortable then.
Geez, that's doesn't even make sense to me....
No I haven't said anything to my husband. It would hurt him & I couldn't do that....he's really done nothing wrong.
I just don't "lust" after him like I used to...When we met, I felt safe with him. That's why I stayed with him. I'd never had that with a man before.
I was abused as a child, and consequently got all my 'confidence' from men as a teen. I was soooooo looking for attention in the wrong ways. When I met him & he was nice...had a future infront of him....I wasn't letting that go. And sometimes I wonder if I made the right decision...Did I settle for the 1st person that treated me right...
I still have problems with depression. I know that & being by myslef all the time isn't helping. And it's been so hard with the new property & handling it on my own...And I've also got mild OCD, so when I get something in my head...it's hard to get it out. Especially when I have no one to bounce my thoughts off.
I've always had problems with people touching me & I do have trust issues. Even to the point, where I think I've only hugged my mum 3 times in the last 8 yrs. The worst part of my wedding day, was when people were coming up & hugging me.
Some people I feel comfortable enough with, that I can hug them. But there isn't many.
Argh...I'm such a bloody whinger. Sorry guys.
Just have so many thoughts running through my head...it helps to write them down I guess.
Oh & the trip is to go to his work Christmas party. I just hope everything will be alright here at home, while I'm gone....
I really worry about my horses.
Lately everything has just been going wrong...It's been one problem after the next & it's getting me down.
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