[KDW]

My husband goes on an annual boys winter camping trip. There's usually a dozen guys from all over the country and it runs from a Thursday to Sunday. One year he was away for my whole birthday (which fell on a Friday), and tried to rationalize it by claiming it was the only weekend everyone could make it (took me out to dinner a few days earlier). After that, he realized I was upset and didn't do it again-- until this year when my birthday falls on a Sunday-- the day he plans to return. It will be late and the Superbowl is on that night. I am really angry, but technically he is coming back on my birthday. Overall, he is a great guy and we are happily married. Am I being petty or overly hormonal? Lots of things bother me that never did before. I am 48 and probably pre-menopausal.

Oh-- and I forgot to add, the trip can't be the next weekend because another woman's birthday is mid-week and she wants him home.

[reilu]

so wait, no girls allowed??? i was going to say you could go with him, unless you hated camping, but i'm guessing since it is an ANNUAL BOYS trip then girls are a no no!! lol why not do something with your girlfriends for your birthday?? i know its not the same as having your husband there, but personally, i wouldn't mind celebrating my birthday on another day. any way, thats jsut me! i guess i'm not much help. SORRY!

[KDW]

Thanks. I wasn't sure if I was being petty. It bothers me that other weekends have been ruled out because of someone other spouse's birthday. As for going that weekend, I'd be stuck cooking for them. Will pass on that. Am thinking that I will not complain and then do something that irritates him while he is gone. We have a center hall colonial that was closed up by a closet (the center hall part). Maybe I will demo that with all of his tools that he doesn't like anyone using. I am really grouchy!

[Tuesday]

I think you have a right to be grouchy. This is an annual problem right! So how come some other guy is allowed to be considerate to his spouse! I think your guy should stand up for you more.

[KDW]

Yeah-- I guess that's the problem.

[reilu]

well..........i don't know if i would do something to make him mad.......that's just fueling the fire! have you ever tried just insisting that he not go that weekend, or reschedule it?? maybe if he saw that it really upset you, he might change his plans....but have you ever REALLY said how much it bothers you?? he could be under the impression that it is no big deal to you.

i definately don't think you should do anything to make him mad though, even if you do think that he deserves it!

[Guest]

you said he didnt do it again untill this year. so it isnt like a yearly thing that happens to you. yes it would be nice on your birthday to be with your family but things do happen.
as for it doesnt happen to others on thier birthday, well if it could happen to you it could also happen to them.
you doing something deliberate is a ***-for-tat thing and isnt a good idea. its actually childish but understandable.
you can celibrate your day before or after and it could be more fun depending on where and what you all do.
sit down and tell him it bothers you and bring up your points like you mentioned here. and it continues most certainly bring the issue of the others wives birthday stops it from those dates. but once in awhile is not the end of the world. and be glad they are coming back on your birthday. take that time and go treat yourself to manacures, hair-doo, something relaxing for you. take advantage of that time and enjoy the time together when they return.
for the pre-menopause.............. that i cant answer at all. although that may not be ruled out.

[Guest]

Am I being petty or overly hormonal?

Yes you are.

rather have a spouse tell someone in front of you, that your birthday is 7 days later, when it had passed 3 days earlier?

then you can grump!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

The other wives probably are dragons ( smile) you know, the ones that put their foot down and control...

Obviously, he feels a comfortability with you, makes an effort to celebrate via a dinner, or come home on the Sunday to be with you, he makes an effort, doesn't diss you.

So, get in early for next year and say "you know what hun", next year it's my turn, you tell the guys "you" are not available between this date and that date, and let them work around you, us... I think at 49 i want to celebrate my birthday for three days, let's go somewhere ourselves.

CW