[imported_cesp74]

Hello, i really need someone to talk to or just listen. I have been married for 10 years. My husband opened a night club and it has changed my life for the worst and I don't know what to do. I can't talk to any of my friends, because i don't trust them to keep my problmes to themselves. I have always been a very reserved person and I thought my husband was too! Now that he has to mingle and talk to people, i see him flirting, hugging, and hanging out with girls. I try not to let my insecurities haunt me, but it is driving my crazy. I get mad and he says that it is just in my head. He has waitresses hanging on him. He plays around with them and talks with them. Lately there is no time for me or the kids. I get mad at everything now, i am frustrated and can't get over things i have seen him do. Everytime he puts his arm around someone i get upset. And he doesn't understand why. He has never been the type to do things like that in public with me and now it seems like he has changed so much. I don't want to be a ***** all the time. But what do i do. I am so unhappy and lonely. Why is he different with me, why do i get the reserved guy and everyone else gets the fun guy. I feel like i don't fit in, because i have never been the party girl type. I don't know what to do or how to act. If i stay away, i feel like i will loose him to that life style and if i go to the club i almost always get mad about something. I don't know what to do!!!

[imported_claire q]

im really sorry, you shouldnt have to put with this, its a real shame you dont have someone you feel that you can trust, you need to be able to talk about this and get advice. the good thing about this site is thats what its for, helping each other. you need to stand your ground with him tell him its not acceptable to go on this way. he probably doesnt see any harm in it but would he like it if guys were all over you? my name is claire and if you want to talk again feel free, you can even send me a private message

[allcried out]

I think it is time for you to not be reserved any more. Try dressing sexy and go to the club as often as possible. Don't dress like a **** or anything just something that is really sexy and make sure to do your hair and makeup. I want you to flirt and hug on guys that you know -not complete strangers. MAKE SURE HE SEES YOU. I understand you're not used to doing that but I'm sure you can fin some article that will help you come out of your shell. He needs to feel what you feel every time you see him act in such a disgusting manner. A married man has no right showing other woman his affection especially if he doesn't do that for you. I am so sorry that you have to go through that.
-maybe he felt tied down with the kids and being married and the club is an excuse to free himself and be young again. He needs to seriously reevaluate his life and see what he wants because he is ruining your marriage. If he really wanted to I am sure he can have his club promoters take care of the people at the club. The waitress that is all over your husband definitely has no reason touching him. I don't know about you but I have never been touchy with my boss. Don't let him use the excuse that he needs to make sure these people come back to the club by being extra friendly to them. He could just have drink specials or say hi and tale to them he does not need to touch anyone other than shaking their hands. I am so sorry you are going through this.

[tinkerbell930]

I had a friend that married a guy that owned a nightclub....it ruined their marriage. The story is a little different than yours though...they only knew each other for 6 weeks before she married him and he already owned it. But the rest of the story rings true. There was ALWAYS something he had to go do at the bar. They needed "change or more vodka, etc", he wouldn't get home till 2 or 3am and she had to work days. She got pregnant and thought that would bring them closer....it only made matters worse. The club ended up going under and they got a divorce when their baby was less than a year old. He wanted to be the good time guy that everyone worshipped. He wasn't great looking, but owning a club made him "important". People loved to be around him for what the could get from him-free drinks and a good time. I know he didn't cheat on my friend, but he sure loved the attention from all the females. I agree with the other posts, there is no need to be hung all over or for him to hang all over his employees, that is unprofessional and can be turned into a sexual harrassment lawsuit at any given time. He could lose his club if he isn't careful. Women are vindictive....if one of those waitresses doesn't show up or wants to steal from him and he fires them, they can claim sexual harrassment anytime they want. EVERYONE in the club has witnessed him hanging all over the girls. CASE CLOSED. He has no respect for you or your family. And if he is having a great time at the bar and not giving you or your kids anything to enjoy, I say to start looking at what half the club would pay for, for you to have a new life! He probably wouldn't have that club if it weren't for you being a supportive loving wife! I am so sorry you are going through that. Clubs are meant for 50 year old playboy men or 20 something single guys to own. Not good family men! They are breeding grounds for infidelity!