[umhald]

Hopefully I am not alone (actually for the benefit of others, I hope I am).
My husband, who I love very deeply, has a bad habit, no a REALLY BAD habit of messing around on his computers and now his newly gained I Phone. I really feel ignored and have for some time been feeling a lot of resentment towards him. A lot of it surrounds the balance of his free time VS mine. Now I do give him the benefit of the doubt and try to understand but I am mad. Is this normal? Do any of you have advice on how to remedy my feelings about it? I have asked numerous times for him to just get off and you know actually I even NAG! I get acknowledgment but it continues. I don't want to sound like a ........but I can't help it coming out that way cause I am fed up.

Also, do any of you see anything wrong with my husband talking via forums and wanting to meet one of the persons with whom he communicates with? Trust is not the issue, he has totally been honest with me from the beginning (cause I nag). Is it wrong for me to feel a little betrayed? or Jealous?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Don't Nag, that's what I think men hate the most... and therefore, they rebel and don't listen, or assume ahh she'll get over it.

Communicate.. Sit him down and tell him that he is quite welcome to play on the computer, I phone, even forums, but he needs to be aware that he is "married" and that some of his time needs to be shared with you...

Tell him that you are aware that you are nagging and you don't want to be that way as it is getting you upset, doing so..

So, ask him to compromise, schedule even some "our" time together, not much to ask and it will stop "me nagging"..

Hopefully, it will create a laugh at the other end, whilst also understanding of your needs...

As for meeting someone from a Forum? I assume you mean female? I assume she knows that your married?

Well, again, I am on a Forum and I intend to meet a few from here this year, I assume some will bring their partners and other's it doesn't matter.. But all know that I "want" to meet the person behind the laughs and discussions and visa versa..

Friendships develop on any sites.. A Forum is not a dating site, although some wish it was haha.

But you really do get to know someone "intellectually and how the think" as apposed to "chat"...

Again, don't nag him to give the information "communicate" discuss, what it is that he likes about this person, for instance, talk about the actual forum and what it entails.

See, whilst that's his hobby you have to also show interest as well in what he does, as apposed to only wanting your "deserved" attention.

If you trust him, don't let there be jealousy, it's a waste of energy.

CW

[torn2pieces]

My significant other is very into technology and is very into his iphone. One time he spent hours trying to figure out something in regards to making the computer stream to his playstation. He loves his iphone (but I do to), I never nag about it but at the same time if I am getting lonely or want his attention I know I can just go sit next to him or on his lap and usually (more than less) his attention turns towards me. Sometimes he will apologize about and then stop messing with his phone because he thinks he is neglecting me.

It drives men (most men) crazy that us women take so long to get ready (they just don't understand) so you can compare it to that.

I have to respect his love for his iphone though cause it really has helped us when we needed information, he even has downloaded apps that I can use. It's entertainment for our daughter (games).

I don't know how bad your husband is with putting all his attention into it. Unless it is taking too much time from you and he is lacking in responsibility or time with you then let him enjoy his technology. It is probably not that bad.

I actually think it's kinda cute that my significant other is so into it. I joke with him and say "you think technology will take over people one day, but it won't". He often shares with me some new "thing" he found his phone can do or he tries to explain some new technology way/thing (you can tell I am not that into it) and usually it sounds pretty cool.

[Guest]

nagging never helps, and usually only makes things worse.

some men turn to "other things" as a way of escaping when they feel like they don't matter, aren't important, or unhappy for some reason in their relationship.

maybe you two need to sit down and have a real discussion about your relationship, and be willing to listen and understand each other.

There's two sides to every disagreement, and then what really happened.

[umhald]

Thank you for the advice and words of wisdom. You may be right, I do tend to only look at my issuse and fail to look a little beyond me. Although we have been married for quite some time and I do feel that we have very open and good communication, I may not be giving him all of what he requires as far as conversation. Could be why he talks ands gives advice on sites like these. Could also be that our lives in the last few years have added lots of responsibility and our focus on the kids have suspended the focus on us for a minute. Thanks for helping me work this our for me at least! Now him!

[Phoebee]

When you do _________
I Feel __________

Nagging just brings you anger and resentment. "mothers" nag.

When you ignore me for hours on end and fiddle with your Iphone
I feel much less into doing wild mind bending sex with you.

;-)

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Phoebee your killing me....

Phoebee
When you ignore me for hours on end and fiddle with your Iphone
I feel much less into doing wild mind bending sex with you.

Providing you always go through with it ( and I know you would ) I can visualize her man / any man, putting that Iphone down right about 2 seconds after that comment..............

CW