Pain due to husband cheating
Hi everyone! I'm new here and am soo relieved and happy I came across this sight! I'm not happy to know that so many of us women have to deal with such heartache because of husband/fiancee/boyfriend...but it is comforting to learn I am not alone.
Let's see where should I begin? I am 31 with 2 kids...6 and 3. I have been with the only man I've ever been with since I was 16 he was 17- yes, high school sweethearts. We've been married for 6 years- together almost 15 years. Well, just like every other thread I've read, I'm dealing with separation and eventually it will come to divorce.
My husband has always been a flirt, and I was beginning to realize this was just him...but most of the time, his flirting really got inappropriate. 2 years ago, a colleague and him were talking quite a bit on the phone. I can't remember how I picked up the vibe, but just did. I confronted him and he always denied...they were just "friends"- they were cool. Long story short, I found emails, saw textes way out of line...she fell in love with him and vice versa. After a few weeks of separation, we reconcile as he tells me it was a big mistake, he was turning 30 and was just lost. I give him another chance. Give us another chance.
We had an off and on good couple of years, got new rings to signify our new life and now flash forward to present and we're back to the same picture.
We moved to another city, because he gets a job which at the time, we couldn't pass up the extra money and benefits. He had an upper management position and has a direct employee. Well, in just 6 months time at the new job, I get a note left for me on my vehicle. Someone at his job is telling me that they're having an affair. I confront him and he says they aren't. They're just "friends" and she's his employee. I confront her, and of course she says the same thing. Few days later, I get another note on my car and behold...it's saying the same thing!!! I just didn't understand, why this person was anonymous and if it was all made up, why would they be doing this to hurt me! Well, another 5 months go by but no more notes. So we assumed the person who was writing this was just making things up.
Now, during these 5 months, I am very uncomfortable about his work relationship and just how closely they're working with eachother, so we argue a lot. I mean a lot about her!! She is married, and was at the time, but sometime this summer, she separated from her husband. According to her, she wants a divorce, but he won't give it to her.
Well, with the economy, his position was no longer needed, so they lay him off. He acts very depressed and distant...I thought this was because of the lay off and how much he really liked where his career was headed. Because we argued so much, one day he tells me he thinks we should separate. I agree, as we had been arguing a lot. He says that we just need space and should do counseling. Well, in a matter of a few weeks, it changes, to "No, counseling isn't gonna help we're too far gone". He moves out and we've been separated now for just about 2 months. It's been death this whole time. I keep feeling like he needs to walk through the door and tell me he loves and misses me....but no. It gets worse.
One day I snoop, yes snoop, and find a note from her saying she loved him and promised he was the man for her. We argue about her daily even during this time. Ok,this is getting really long. Well, to fast forward again....something told me to stop by his apartment on Tuesday. It was God. And she was there- sleeping. I bang on the door, he opens surprisingly and of course she can't hide. He was so smug!!! I'm crying profusely and he's like...well, I wasn't trying to hide it as you can see her car out front. "This was my last attempt to be done with us." I realized today, that he never loved me. What a waste of half of my life- literally.
Let's see where should I begin? I am 31 with 2 kids...6 and 3. I have been with the only man I've ever been with since I was 16 he was 17- yes, high school sweethearts. We've been married for 6 years- together almost 15 years. Well, just like every other thread I've read, I'm dealing with separation and eventually it will come to divorce.
My husband has always been a flirt, and I was beginning to realize this was just him...but most of the time, his flirting really got inappropriate. 2 years ago, a colleague and him were talking quite a bit on the phone. I can't remember how I picked up the vibe, but just did. I confronted him and he always denied...they were just "friends"- they were cool. Long story short, I found emails, saw textes way out of line...she fell in love with him and vice versa. After a few weeks of separation, we reconcile as he tells me it was a big mistake, he was turning 30 and was just lost. I give him another chance. Give us another chance.
We had an off and on good couple of years, got new rings to signify our new life and now flash forward to present and we're back to the same picture.
We moved to another city, because he gets a job which at the time, we couldn't pass up the extra money and benefits. He had an upper management position and has a direct employee. Well, in just 6 months time at the new job, I get a note left for me on my vehicle. Someone at his job is telling me that they're having an affair. I confront him and he says they aren't. They're just "friends" and she's his employee. I confront her, and of course she says the same thing. Few days later, I get another note on my car and behold...it's saying the same thing!!! I just didn't understand, why this person was anonymous and if it was all made up, why would they be doing this to hurt me! Well, another 5 months go by but no more notes. So we assumed the person who was writing this was just making things up.
Now, during these 5 months, I am very uncomfortable about his work relationship and just how closely they're working with eachother, so we argue a lot. I mean a lot about her!! She is married, and was at the time, but sometime this summer, she separated from her husband. According to her, she wants a divorce, but he won't give it to her.
Well, with the economy, his position was no longer needed, so they lay him off. He acts very depressed and distant...I thought this was because of the lay off and how much he really liked where his career was headed. Because we argued so much, one day he tells me he thinks we should separate. I agree, as we had been arguing a lot. He says that we just need space and should do counseling. Well, in a matter of a few weeks, it changes, to "No, counseling isn't gonna help we're too far gone". He moves out and we've been separated now for just about 2 months. It's been death this whole time. I keep feeling like he needs to walk through the door and tell me he loves and misses me....but no. It gets worse.
One day I snoop, yes snoop, and find a note from her saying she loved him and promised he was the man for her. We argue about her daily even during this time. Ok,this is getting really long. Well, to fast forward again....something told me to stop by his apartment on Tuesday. It was God. And she was there- sleeping. I bang on the door, he opens surprisingly and of course she can't hide. He was so smug!!! I'm crying profusely and he's like...well, I wasn't trying to hide it as you can see her car out front. "This was my last attempt to be done with us." I realized today, that he never loved me. What a waste of half of my life- literally.
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