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What do you do?

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  • What do you do?

    I have been with my fiance for 2 years. We are planning on getting married March 21 this year. However, I dont know how it will last. For about a year now, I have been having a problem with having little to no desire to have sex. I think in the last year we have MAYBE had sex a total of 15 times. give or take a few. Now, I dont know if it is stress. I have a 4 year old son. I have a job that treats me like . I have been having a problem in the vaginal area where it bothers me sometimes. ((Ive posted a topic in the health forum about this one)) I always feel too tired. Or my stomach is hurting. Or I just dont feel like it. What is wrong with me? I had this feeling before with my ex, my son's biological father. Only there was NEVER a desire. Its not that I dont WANT to have sex with him. I just am not in the mood. What can I do and what may be causing this?

  • I always believe that stomach problems are mainly to do with two things:-

    1. Stress
    2. Bad eating habbits, food that does not agree with you anymore.

    Upset stomaches, can make you feel very tired.

    Sounds to me like your health is not the best, and you need to make some life changes so that you can be healthier and happier...

    Stress from work, feeling tired, sore stomach, problems there, well frankly I wouldn't want sex either.

    Have a look at your diet, see if you are lactose intollerant to dairy, eggs, etc, spices, IBS is a real downer and creates irritability, tiredness, bloateness, are you suffering any of these?

    Get yourself sorted in the other part, that sucks for a woman, I replied on that thread, and maybe start walking daily so you feel more energy and alive.

    If you job really sucks that much, see if you can work towards finding another one.

    And, above all, smile... Life is good... You just have to keep jumping over obsticles.



    • But this doesnt mean my relationship is doomed does it? I think it may be dairy. Which is weird because I am 24 and I have never had a problem before. Shoot, after having my son, I was able to eat an entire pizza without having to worry about my stomach hurting. Now, I can eat one or two slices. Without it hurting. Sometimes, two is pushing it. Cheese has always been one of my favorites. The doctor said its not IBS or Gastroreflux (sp?). I have no idea. And I am most definately working on getting a new job. Oh, I do work with kids all day so that could be part of the stress. lol


      • CW has given you some good advice. If you think it is dairy then the only way (this is what a doc would have you do) to find out is to eliminate it from your diet for AT Least 2 weeks and see what happens. Having done elimination diets several times for a variety of things, I can tell you this will mean paying very close attention. Diary is in a lot of stuff, you are going to have read lables, so more of your own cooking and educate yourself. It can be a great learning experience.

        This will mean no milk, butter, cheese of any kind, yogurt, ice cream, sherbet, cream based soups, just to name a few.

        Depending on your ancenstry dairy ca ncause a host of problems - not just lactose intollerence. If I remember the stats right 5% of caucasians are dairy sensitive and this is primarily a lactose problem, about 50% of people with African ancestory are dairy sensitive and that isn't just lactose, same thing for Asians and Native Americans only they run over a 90% dairy sensitivity rate. In these non caucasian groups reactions include but are not limited to, digestive problems, headaches, rashes, hearing loss, behavior problems (probably labled ADD or ADHD. In my own case when I'm hyper sensistised heavy dairy such as ice cream produced symptoms like drunkeness with slurred speach and blurred vision, my son had hearing loss from dairy as a youngester but has fortunately out grown his reaction, I have a nephew who was labled learning disabled until they removed dairy form his diet - then he was placed in advanced classes.

        Dairy isn't the only possible problem - wheat and glutten are common. I think the top offenders are corn, wheat ,eggs and diary. The only way to tell is to eliminate the possible food from your diet for several weeks and then try introducing it to see what happens. Sometimes the reaction is a combination which makes it harder to pin down, one thing will kick off the sensitivity and then you react to other things. It is worth finding out. IF nothing else you will learn a lot about diet and a bunch of new recipes.

        Do get in for a full physical, talk with your intended and get his perspective on this. DOn't go into a marriage you aren't certain of for any reason. Starting anything with the idea it may fail isn't a good plan unless you can say you will be no worse off for the experience and that isn't true with a marriage.


        • To be honest? Doctor's do not know what causes IBS and it's something hard to diagnose.

          One thing that they all "claim" is it is caused by stress... All of a sudden, certain foods create havoc. Google IBS to see if you have the symptons.

          So, if it's not that, something is bothering your intestines, have the done blood tests?

          Why not try anyway for 2 weeks, (that's all you need), and eat lots of greens, i know , i know, no dairy at all, lots of water, chicken and fish and just see....If you feel different, better, happier, less stressed, not so sore in your tummy, and enjoy food, then it's IBS.

          That's all I can offer.

          Your sex life? Well, you have to start laughing and living and being happy...........and work with these issues until solved, doing both will bring you back in the end.


          I get it from time to time and it drives me nuts ( much like your kids you mind at school hey?) haha.


          • OMG WC?

            We posted at the same time, and I have to say " 2 weeks" we both said 2 weeks?

            haha... You got to try what we are saying ,now... kind of dododododo...




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