[Stealthkitty]

Kay, when are you going to write that book?

[imported_kaylar]

I should....


I have had so much experience in this field
it isn't funny. Between divorce, women's organisations,
all sorts of fora....

[imported_Nygirl5885]

i'm happy that you dedicate many post to common problkems that women face. common problems that women at times aren't aware that those problems are still an issue.

[imported_kaylar]

A lot of Women


A lot of women go through this...
and exploring all the avenues should
be of benefit.

Divorce is an answer.
It is not the only answer.

[kaylar]

Reflecting


Many wives who have remained with the adulterous
husband have reorganised or redefined their definition
of marriage.

For many it is very much a 'marriage' of convenience.

They are married when they need to be, and single for
other purposes.

For example, many don't feel an 'obligation' to 'please'
their husbands.

They don't cook for him anymore. They prepare what
they like, if he doesn't want it, he cooks for himself.

Many give versions of the 'last slice of cake'.

B.A. (before adultery) many women would not have
eaten the last...(slice of cake, pat of butter, etc.)
A.A., (after adultery) the mere idea of 'saving' it
for the husband provokes them to eat it.

Although it sounds incredible, many women see their
B.A. selves as door mats, fools, self-sacrificing idiots,
who choked down meals they hated, who often ate
dry bread because he had used off the butter or
the jam, as if he were the king of the house, and she
a scullion.

They see their A.A. selves as strong, independent,
and more important than he is.

"I always bought harsh soap and heavy duty
shampoo, and all sorts of products I didn't like,
virtually 'stealing' house money to buy the smallest
piece of complexion soap, saving the sample of
soft shampoo, because of what he used."

"During the time he was having the affair, and
rarely home, to 'fix' him I began to buy beauty
soap and those girly shampoos, and when he
came back, I continued to buy them. If he
wanted something else, he'd have to buy it
himself, for I wasn't wasting grocery money
on his stuff."

And if he wants to leave?

"There's the door. He left me once already,
I've been waiting for him to do it again."