[Passion]

its been almost four months since the seperation, we both have moved out. I now have my own apartment and he is living with the other women and is looking for a studio. He says that we grew apart and that we did not share common goals and dreams something that he shares with the other women. Well I told him that he gave me mixed signals as the last couple of months we bonded even more. He even told me that he was so happy in our relationship because we were on the same page. Well fifteen years of being together on a daily basis. I am getting withdrawals. I miss him so much, his voice, his smile, etc.... I am constantly sad that i no longer have him by my side and am not sharing his successes as I should have after all I sacrificed with him.... I recently heard that he received approval for an installation that took two years. I guess he really forgot about me and is now happy with the other woman. I just wonder How could this be? Did Fifteen years mean nothing to him... We were best friends. Everyone tells me that he will realize that the other side is not greener but it seems like it is for him.. Anyways, what should I do, I miss talking to him, spending time with him, holding his hand..... I think i am going to go crazy... I have been spending a lot of time with my friends, going to the gym, working out, what else can I do. I have given up. i am fighting myself from calling him and congratulating him...

[Gal]

Sweets,

Dont worry, if you want to forget him think what bad he did to you. Its difficult to hate someone you once loved so much but you have to be bit selfish here. Try and be with your friends who dont like him and who will talk bad about him. Dont ever do a mistake to get closer to another man to come over past relationship. Do you think he was worth who just forgot 15 years in few months time. You dont have to congratulate him because did he bother to turn to ask you, how are you doing? You know women are strongest, their strength is their self respect and emotion. Try and engrossed your self in some post graduate course/dancing class because music can sway you away. Come out of the place and go on a long vacation. Might be things were not meant to be.The man who can leave you for no faults can even leave that woman. You can not count on such men.Take Care

[Iseulda]

I think a 15 year relationship needs to be grieved and I think you are grieving. It's OK. It's OK to be sad, it's OK to miss him, it's all OK. Cry. It is an honest emotion that there is nothing wrong with expressing, besides, it sounds like you need to.

There is no point in trying to work out his motivations or what anything meant to him / still means to him because it will not change your current situation.

You do need to move on, find things to occupy your time - maybe do stuff that you used to like to do before you were with him but that stopped because he wasn't so keen. But don't feel bad about grieving the relationship. It's only been a few months - you're still healing. You will be fine, and in the meantime if you are not fine that's perfectly OK.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Four months is not a long time sweet, after 15 years...

And, sure he seems happy now but that's just because it's all new, as the honeymoon stage goes, and she feels comfortable and safe, she will act more comfortable and that is where, he will see the real person..

I know you want to pick up the phone, but remember, he had an affair and left you, he does not deserve any communication from you what so ever.

Your feeling this because grief remains until you slowly pick away at it and don't feel it anymore or find someone else who is beautiful touches your soul and heart.

I am really happy that your going out with friends and going to the gym, now work out what your favourite past time is, passion, (passion) and take up a course, could be photography, what ever it is, you will meet more people whilst enjoying doing something exciting for yourself that you never realised you missed or should have done years ago.

Fill your life with things you couldn't do.... Didn't do....

Don't call him sweet.

CW

[luckyladie88]

I've been in a similar situation before... what helped me most was going to see a psychologist. i cried all day and night, i layed in bed all the time and thought about nothing other than him. I didn't want to live without him; i didn't think i could. it's been about five years now, and there are still times i think about him, but i'm able to live my life for ME.