[mygdalia58]

Hi, i'm hoping you can give me a mans opinion on something, Im 42 years old and my husband of 6years just turned 33, and for the past 6months he has been secretive, closed off and we didn't even communicate. For the past month i finally got thru him got his attention and asked him what was going on that whatever it was we can work thru it, we have been thru so much together why stop fighting now, and to my surprise I realize his desires and feelings had changed. We made love couple nights ago and he didnt feel the same way, I felt that I wasn't enough for him, he wanted someone younger exciting and desireble. For the first time in 6years I didn't feel my husbands emotions, he felt cold and a big space between us. He said he loves me and desires me very much and does not want anyone else, he told me that he hasn't been able to stay hard or have orgasm. But I feel that he cheated on me and feels guilty or he wants a younger woman. I went thru his laptop and found several video of porn site of women in their mid 20's, beautiful and exciting, am I not enough for him anymore, I feel like a failure, a 42 year old inteligent, independent strong woman, who can't satisfy her younger husband. Why, why is it all men or just men in their 30's. Can you explain to me why he is feeling this way, why can't I feel him anymore.

All I want is my husband back I feel he has lost his way, that all the stress and problems we have gone thru got to him, and he is looking for an escape or something, I need to know if he truly desires and loves, that he is satisfied with what he has right at home, that the younger women porn is just that porn and nothing else. I know men go thru changes and emotions but I would like to feel where he stands in our marriege and if he wants something more that I will let him go, and get on with my life. I will understand.

[mygdalia58]

husband lacking romance

All I want if true love, romance, I want to feel needed and wanted, and beautiful, I need for him to kiss me hold me tight and make pasionate love to me.

[HALFNOTHING]

First of all, you have to talk to him on whats really going on.. you must know the reason..

I think the reason only fall to this:

1. His friends always convincing to try younger one that made him feel insecure
2. he is hiding something from you because he doesn't want you to hurt.. he's just trying to satisfying you because he already out of love
3. He has just a problem that he maybe hiding from you because he is ashamed of telling it to you...

There are lot of problems here concerning about porn.. funny but these people doing it are out of their mind.. hehehe..

sis, may i know if there is something that you're husband must be holding on you not to tell you the truth? what i mean is like if you are the one who is providing money, etc..

[CHANDLERS WISH]

He may just be trying to claim his way yet again..

Ensuring that you are what he wants.

You haven't asked him what the problem is.

There is alot of "assumption there on your behalf", this was you fear from the beginning and your capitlising on it.

Ask him what he loves about you, smile and don't be insecure, sex it up and tell him how much you desire him and are happy that he and you got together.

I think your worried about your age instead of anything else.

ASK

CW

[Hopeless Dork]

I got that sense too, CW. When you said he was in the bathroom watching "younger women porn" I thought to myself... did he say specifically that, did the title say that .. or was it just general porn because, well porn tends to generally younger women, other than mature or milf'ish porn but the average porn is young women. So meaning, he didn't probably seek that out, its just what is there when you look for porn.

But of course if your feeling concerned about your age, it would be the first thing you think of... he's looking at her because she is younger - nah he's looking at her because she's naked :-) Unless of course he told you , or it was some hot 18 year olds website or something like that.

I am older than my boyfriend by just a couple years, and even I think and worry sometimes about him wanting a hot 21 year old over me. He's late 20's I am early 30's. But thing is, he picked me. We are both attracted to each other and age doesn't seem to make a difference. I think most women start to worry about their age at some point even if they are dating an older man, and you are going through that - but having a younger man is making you even more insecure about where you are at it seem.

You shouldn't be. Let me tell you what.... Go see the movie "the wrestler". Take a good long look at marissa tomei in that movie, naked. She is OVER 50 and her body is hotter than any young actress I have seen in a long time. Times they are changing. Women are paying more attention to their health and fitness and you can be hot, stay hot as long as you want to.

Don't let age make you feel like you are losing your attractiveness to your husband. Theres always going to be hot young things, hot older things, just hot things in general lol. What you should focus on is getting to the heart of why is distancing himself from you as far as cuddling and sex and things like that go.

Talk to him, tell him how it makes you feel inside without accusing. It might be that he doesn't even realize how this is affecting you and could make a change that will make you happy.

[desperate for help]

here is my male point of view.women are the most beautiful things god created and men are always looking at them.most of the guys i know myself included look at porn it doesnt mean we dont love our women at home everyone likes to have a car but would also like a porche.its hard to give you good advise the onlything i can say is with porn we sometimes forget reality that the women in those movies dont really look and act that way,but perhaps his sexual desires are not being met.depending on how open sexually you are you may want to watch a movie on tv with him and then mabey suggest you act out part of it.also to i know from my own personal life sometimes something just goes off in our brains and we start to do the is this really what i want in life thing and sometimes that can cause a great loss of emmosions for a man i would suggest talking to him to get a little more info if possible and try to work with him.i personally dont think its an age think i know alot of people prefer older women because they usually have a better idea of what they want and cause alot less drama in life.

[Hopeless Dork]

Your analogy of we like a car but sometimes we like a porsche was not at all comforting just so you know!! lol. That is kind of like saying that the women in porn are in some how higher quality.... when some of the women.. don't look a heck of a lot better than us, actually.

Take an actor that is married to a super model, and looks at porn still. He has a "porshe" at home, how does your analogy fit into that? I am guessing they just like a variety or porshes?

Your opinions are welcome and respected of course, but comparing the average woman to a car, and the ones that take her clothes off for cash as the porshe model.. won't end well :P haha ( tongue in cheek)

[Fallen1]

Your analogy of we like a car but sometimes we like a porsche was not at all comforting just so you know!! lol. That is kind of like saying that the women in porn are in some how higher quality.... when some of the women.. don't look a heck of a lot better than us, actually.

Agreed!

If you see some of those women off film you'd probably change your mind. It's amazing what air brushing, filtering and editing film can do to cover up flaws.

[HALFNOTHING]

wew.. lol.. good points..

[mygdalia58]

You know what you are one hundred percent right, i have been talking to him letting him know how I feel, and weve been communicating more than we ever did, we were so caught up on finances, and stress that we just let go. But lately hes been coming around and weve been more intimate and passionate about each other thatn we ever were before, and your right htere will always be young things and all things but only one of me. Im living my life now with him and looking beter than ever. Thank You