[lostinlove]

My husband moved out 3weeks ago. We have been married for almost 15yrs. We have had our yelling and screaming but it has never when this far.. We have a Son that we BOTH adore, and He is (or was) very Close with. He had only spent time with him 2 times and only through the week(no weekends).He is probably with another woman, He says no but all the signs are there, He tells me one min. that he wants a divorce then the next min we will just hol off. The problem is I Love him and he dosent seem to want to work things out. Its killing me to know that the man I thought that I would be with forever never did love me.. We made Love on Thursday and he told me Saturday that he found a house and was moving out. He has taken alot of things but not alot of personal things of his, He insists that he is going to mow my lawn for me and little things like that , I am so confused and hurt,I cant stop crying I dont want my marriage to end and I dont know what to do. Is this just something that will pass or is it over with us?? He ALWAYS been a great Father and now he isnt spending any time ALONE at all with our teenage Son and it is hurting him so much, I will not bad mouth his Father to him, but I cant lie when he is off work and doesnt call to spend time with him. HELP ME PLEASE!!!!

[HALFNOTHING]

Hard to think what should i tell you my sister.. I feel the hurt you're suffering right now. i've been in your situation thought it different to mine but all i can say is stay focus on what want to do.it's hurt knowing that the one we love don't love us.. we feel betrayed but we should accept the fact.

The problem is I Love him and he dosent seem to want to work things out. Its killing me to know that the man I thought that I would be with forever never did love me.. We made Love on Thursday and he told me Saturday that he found a house and was moving out.

if he wants divorce, let him go because you love him. by letting go, it hurts to top of course but that would be less pain. if you don't let go things, it will keep hurt you. The sooner the better. You must accept and forget. move on to life. its not only you feel that pain. be strong for your son and yourself. why wasting hurting yourself for a person doesn't deserve your love? you made love on thursday? thats not the good term. you know that.. it's just an ordinary "libog" lust..

[amaranthine]

If he won't go to couple's counseling, there's a good chance he's lost interest and just doesn't feel the need to try anymore.
Have you ever gone on a second honeymoon? Ever gone away for a weekend, just you two? Do you still take each other out on little movie/dinner dates?

My parents have been married for 24 years (25 in Sept... I'm 19 btw), and they have some big fights sometimes. My mom has walked out of the house on occasions because she gets super emotional during arguments and my dad does not at all... so she feels he doesn't care, gets hurt... storms out.
They haven't had anything like this happen in a while, like two years or more. They started having dates again, started going down to Ocean City for a weekend, staying at a B&B, etc.

Maybe your marriage just needs some excitement, a new spark, something to remind your husband why he married you in the first place. It seems like he's forgotten it.
(This solution is also assuming there is no other woman.)

I know I really don't have any experience with marriage, seeing as I'm 19 and all, but I thought I'd offer up what seems to work for my parents.

[Tina Lee]

Babyrianna's right, you do deserve better.

You need to let him go. It isn't right that he comes, and goes as he pleases. One day, he's there for the sex, and the next day he wants a divorce? You deserve better.

I think it's great that you're not bad-mouthing your husband in front of your son. That's a very mature outlook you have. I admire that. As you said, you can't lie to your son either, about why his father never comes to see him.

That has to be so hard for you to see your husband hurt your son. I feel your hurt also.

My opinion only is, you have to set some boundaries. Either he's with you, or he's gone. He can't have his cake, & eat it too. You need to let him go..

[starjoy08]

You don't have to be treated like this. You and your son should be the most important thing for your husband and if he is not treating you as such, then you should leave him. Maybe hard love is what he needs.

[HALFNOTHING]

consider us as your friend hoping for your happiness.. think carefully.. don't let your heart decide for all things.. decide with your brain and heart... let go of the pain. it must be hard but that all here saying to you is to let go..

[CHANDLERS WISH]

"Guilt" allows comments such as " I insist on still doing your lawns"...

Don't let him.

If he goes, then he has no right to enter any part of your "present/future" life, hire a hunky lawnmowing guy on the day and time he says he will be coming to do the lawns and when he turns up, walk to the door and say thanks, I can take care of myself, wave to the lawnmowing guy and walk back inside.

It's more of the fact that you've been together for so long and it's so hard to pick yourself up and commence a new life.

He obviously, is doing that, whether there is another woman involved or not, he may feel ashamed to a degree and can't face his teenage son at the moment because he's left his Mother.

It's good that you have no intention of bagging him to your son, there's no point really.

But, you need to get some back bone and strength, it's when you ignore and don't show pain/hurt that they get confused and don't like it.

If it's a phase he's going through he'll come back one day and it's your choice whether or not you accept this.

In the meantime, see it as now you don't have to nurture, cook, clean and now you can go out and start that hobbie, get together with friends, see what you've missed in life and what you can now achieve in life.

Let the wheels turn where they are meant to.

If you love someone " set them free, if they come back to you they are yours, if they don't they never were".

See it as that and get on with your life, but don't allow him to do anything for you, he left, you do for you and let him see your strength in all of this.

CW

[Dannie Lyn]

I would totally turn the tables on him and say, that's really a relief..What do you have to lose? Take a risk..At the least, do not panic or get desperate..That's where some women go wrong..Never underestimate your power with a man!