[virtuous woman]

Okay, where do I start. My husband and I have been together for 12 years (married for almost 5 of those. He was my first boyfriend and my everything. In the beginning of our relationship, we were always happy together. His family did not treat me very well, but I just ignored it in the beginning. I assumed with the culture differences, we would have a few misunderstandings. As time went on, before we were even married, things started to become harder and harder. His mom was lashing out on me every chance she got (over the phone), we got engaged(then separated), I became pregant, we got back together, and got married about two years after we had our child. When we got married all I ever heard was "we got married because we had a child". Needless to say, this made things worse. Later in our marriage we got pregnant again, but this time we agreed that we should do this. I had a miscarriage and became pregnant 4 weeks later. This time, my husband showed no excitement or joy. It was sort of like here we go again. During, the time of my pregnancy, we decided to not tell anyone, until 3mths into the pregancy. Well, at this time my husband was working out of town and we only lived an hour from his parents vs. 5 hours. We wanted to surprise his mom and dad with a visit. This turned out to be a vacation from ! To make a long story short, she screamed at me referring to me as that woman, threw things my way, threatened to continue breaking things in her home if I didn't shut my mouth. This entire time my husband was in the same place as me "sleeping". She storms to the back room and proceeds to wake my husband up and start fighting me. Okay, after this I said I was done with his crazy family, but oh no, I am the bad guy, for not wanting to be around them. I told him that I do not want her alone with our children and I feel she has some mental unstability. After the incident she calls her husband and daughter and apologize to them. Keep in mind her daughter was not even THERE! Time goes by his family pretends like they like me in front of him, but behind his back they don't speak and are quite ugly to me. My husband believes almost everything his sister says. I feel like such an outsider, because my husband doesn't take up for me and makes me feel so unimportant in his life. Currently, we are living with his parents and it is a nightmare. Same old, same. My husband rececently got laid off and will be a full time student. I would like advice, because I don't know whether to stay or go. I want to make a decisions before school starts. I am so fed up with everything. There are details to the situation, but I will wait for comments on the thread first. I am very nervous about starting over, because this is relationship is all I know. I am a devout Christian and pray every night for my husband.

[starjoy08]

It sounds hard. It kinda sounds like your husband needs to make some decisions. He needs to pick you or his parents. When you are married, you both are a unit. His parents and your parents are part of the family but you all are a unit. If he is putting his parents before you and your kids, then I would think that is a problem. I have seen this with my family and it does not end pretty unless he stands up for his family(meaning you and the kids). You have to be part of the solution too. You must stick by him, if he does this. You have to be supportive of him. If you all don't put priorities in the right spot, then for the sake of the kids, change something. And with all that said, it is hard to give advice without more details!!!! Good Luck

[CHANDLERS WISH]

It sounds like to me, that there was an issue before, and that's why you separated and because you became pregant, he came back, sorry but that is how it sounds.

And, his Mother may feel that you trapped him and therefore, can't see that you "love her son" do you?

It then sounds as if your husband wanted to "try" the marriage with the second baby and was very cold, very, about the miscarriage correct?

That's not a "relationship" is it? You needed him at that time.

Perhaps though that's his nature?

Then when you fell pregnant again, "maybe" he thought it would be miscarried again?

It's hard to say because we are listening only to what you have said so far.

So at this point do you care to add more?

CW

[virtuous woman]

He wasn't cold toward the miscarriage, he was cold toward the pregnancy after the miscarriage. Since the last time I posted the thread, he has told me, he is done with the relationship. My mind is going crazy. I am a stay at home with no where to go. There is really to much to post in this thread for help, but I thought I would try my best to post some basics. Thanks