[msross2be]

Ok Ladies here goes. I am n love with a wonderful, wonderful person. He and I met 2 years ago at a church program. We later on discovered we used to live in the same neighborhood as children and went to pre-k together. And evenmore our families know one another really well. Sounds good so right? Well here is the bomber. I don't think I can get pregnant and we have been trying for quite some time. And I am a bit saddened over it because we equally love each other very very much. We have planned to spend the rest of our lives together and more than anything would like to have a child together. Now, we both have children from previous marriages, but they are all teens, except for my 6 yr old, whom my fiance adores. We thought I was pregnant this time 4 sure, but my cycle came on just yesterday. However, it was late and it hasn't been late in quite awhile. I just know he would be so heartbroken if I tell him i am not pregnant and he often asks me about my cycle and things like that. He is very in tune with my body. I am only 33 and have finally found someone that truly loves me unconditionally, and I may not be able to give him a child. I feel so badly. Now, I have not been to the doctor, yet to confirm all of this, and I do plan on going. But I am so afraid of finding out the truth. Help someone, what should I do?

[Guest]

To be prudent, and for the sake of the child, I'd suggest waiting until you folks are married before attempting to get pregnant.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be worried. You've had children before. When the time is right, it will happen. I'm sure you guys know there are a few days during the month when it is most likely to happen. So don't rush it. This may be God's way of telling you to wait.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well I would take another view.

He loves you yes? So he won't be heartbroken, so stop doing things for "him".. When a baby is on its way it is on its' way.

Your scared to establish if there is something wrong with you and you can't but what if it is he can't?

What if it is neither of you can't?

If you feel the need to establish sperm count, Fidelity etc, go sweet. Cause it's driving you both nuts.

I think at 33 your a big girl you can decide all..

Hey OTYA.... past 30? we see differently, respectfully xx

But I agree, it happens when least expected and way after that age, maybe she is just being too stressed instead of relaxing and letting it happen.

CW

[Guest]

Hey OTYA.... past 30? we see differently, respectfully xx

No disrespect taken. You're a female, you prob know better than I.

On which aspect, though? The ability to have children as easily when in your 20's? I do understand the older we get, it generally becomes tougher.

As far as the getting married part first...there still is a stigma in the U.S. about having a child out of wedlock.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Not at all, and thanks I have had friends though at 40 that tried from 38 - 41 and finally, finally had their child... I never had one so who am i to speak just going off of friends/age I guess.

God no, off course earlier, easier... Certainly is tougher but read above.

I didn't point that out, have friends alot of friends in USA and I see that alot actually 19 mostly, 3 kids at 25 it is very sad.

I was really just saying don't be scared your only 33, it will and can happen.

Love your posts... But you know that.

CW