[Katy]

My Husband of 6 years has been working away from home for nearly 4 of the 6 years. He has increasingly gotten more unattached and not supportive since we had out 17mth old son. He thinks it's easier this way..so he doesn't have to thinks and worry about us.
I have managed through uni exams, assignments, flu, viruses, sick dogs and cats with no face to face support.
I have had enough of this and feel isolated and alone.
He's not looking for other jobs. I force him to even look at them and he always finds something wrong with them. He puts his work before us.
I need help...i think my Marriage is over.

[ThexMrs]

Katy,

I'm sorry to hear this. (I know that doesn't help) First off, you can't force him to do anything. If he wanted to do it, he would. It seems that he is making his decision clear. With his travel, does he go to the same place a lot? I ask only because it's possible that he may have another life there. I'm sure you know what I mean. (I don't want to jump to that conclusion though) When you've talked to him about how you feel, which I assume you have, what is his repsonse? How often is he away? There are so many unanswered questions. Can you provide more detail?

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Some guys really do want marriage but more so for, there is someone there and so they can have family but they can't get out of their batchelor ways... He has chosen his work, which makes him be away, you have tried to get him to look for jobs I assume close to home but he comes up with excuses, yet states that it's easier this way to detach then he doesn't worry.

So, you have to ascertain if it is money he seeks for a future for you all and works away for that reason and really does detach because he really does worry, or whether he just wants a marriage of convenience, one whereby he has a wife, a child, as you are "meant to do" but there is no attachment with this.

You have to communicate with him and tell him exactly how lonely, sad and un-happy you are and that you did not get married, to have no one there for you, rather a shared companion to laugh with, have fun with, sex with and a husband full stop and if he can't get it together, then he has a serious problem.. But, in a nice way this needs to come across not as an alternative...

I couldn't fathom doing all your doing, and not have intimacy, not have love, not have someone their called a Husband unless he communicated every day, and it was for a reason such as a better future for his family.

CW

[Joy]

I can see your point if you are going to be alone and do it you might as well not be married. That way you are free to find a man that will be there for you.

some men think all they have to provide is money to support their family but there is so much more to it than that.

[lizzy_09]

When you've talked to him about how you feel, which I assume you have, what is his repsonse? How often is he away?

You have to communicate with him and tell him exactly how lonely, sad and un-happy you are and that you did not get married, to have no one there for you, rather a shared companion to laugh with, have fun with, sex with and a husband full stop and if he can't get it together, then he has a serious problem.. But, in a nice way this needs to come across not as an alternative...

I couldn't fathom doing all your doing, and not have intimacy, not have love, not have someone their called a Husband unless he communicated every day, and it was for a reason such as a better future for his family.

I quiet agree with ThexMrs and CHANDLERS WISH. Have you had a heart to heart talk with your man? Have you explained how you feel? Did you tell him the consequences of your relationship if he doesn't help out putting an effort to make this marriage work? If he can't meet you halfway, or is still hovering indecisively on what to do, then you'd better tell him that your going to have to make that decision for him if he doesn't do anything about it cause you just can't stand around waiting when he feels like it. Give him a deadline. I may be evil but can you bear the agony that long?

[MOONWILLOW]

I understand your pain

I know exactly how you feel. My boyfriend/fiance of 6 years also acts this way. Only worse. We live in the same town but due to circumstances we can't live together. We have a child together. I raise my daughter, he visits her for a few hours during the week and he thinks he is father of the year. He does not provide financial support to help me with her. I am the primary care taker of our daughter. When it comes to intanacy it has gone out the window. He of course blames me saying that I push him away. How do men expect you to just act all lovey dovey after they haven't touched you in months. Get real.
I think we both need new men.

[womenwise]

Hi,
Its does seem, you have afew to many issues of needig support.What are you doing,yourself.?Spouse at home working is fatal.Have you thought to discuss a separation...give each other space..The child, and home is not a great work domain,He hasnt left you, whether he has other activities, you dont know that..SOund slike too much in each others space.
Just be honest wih him, I think theres more to this, than its all about him...Maybe there i a lot of stress, and perhaps some listening skills,He may feel under duress to be successful etc...Need a new tact, suggest you get a family member to take the child for a full weekend, and switch of his ofice equipment, have a good clear out.be honest and get honesty. DOnt tell him, jut plan it all yourself.

[HALFNOTHING]

don't rush things. you can talk to him and spit all you want and that you don't want to be alone. maybe, there's something that your husband must to understand that you don't such a husband like he used to be. that if he won't change the situation, you're willing to give up on the marriage and find happiness.

wish you good luck