[CHANDLERS WISH]

The fact that you came home means either you were scared of him, or he's worn you down with emotional abuse, you didn't have the strength.

I'm tending to think the first because you wouldn't be here on this Forum searching for answers if you didn't have the strength, it's there inside of you.

I'm also guessing that you haven't exactly told your family what's going on and it's time to do so, you probably just said you had a tiff...

I asked you how you felt because it was premeditated and I wanted to know if you realised that, seems that you do...

From your other posts, your a bubbly little thing with character, you need to focus and keep that nature, your going to need strength to get through this and over it.

It's your son too.. He is your parents grandchild.. If he does things like this to you, what will he start doing to his son? You may think nothing, it's me, he treats me like dirt,

Women should be punished when thy disrespect men. Thats a quote from him.

children should be punished too for disobeying their father and not by locking them in their room without TV either.

I agree with Little, I know of an abusive 18 year old that kicked the mother of his child after childbirth, that shook the babies captual, fortunately the baby wasn't in it and destroyed the cot out of anger. She told her family, the baby is now safe but she won't let go of the man, thinks that's all she deserves...

Don't go down that path...

Talk seriously to your parents then to the law of any "physical abuse" no man has a right to raise his hand to a woman and they (men), (the law), don't like it either.... get a restraining order and set yourself free from all of this.

CW

[WildChild]

Aside from the fear that your child could also be abused is the fact that children learn from what they see and hear. Do you want your son to grow up to act like his father? He will if you stay- that's almost guaranteed.

How do you want him to treat his gf? wife? child? mother? You have to set the standards. What is he learning from his father's behavior? From yours?

[GlitterAndStuds]

I know that everyone else has already told you to leave... but my god, LEAVE. We all know how much easier said than done that is, especially coming from people who are not in your situation. His behavior is bad enough, but when I read the part about throwing that in your face? No no no. Granted, without that detail I would still be saying the same thing.

If you feel like you can't do this on your own, get all the moral support you can. And definitely get the police involved. You should not have to live like that, and neither should your son. You're obviously young. You have your whole life ahead of you, do you really want to spend it being treated like this? I'm sure you have family that will let you stay with them until you get back on your feet, but please don't stay with him. If there's one thing I hate, and I do mean hate, it's people who treat others like this. You and your child deserve a much better life.

[meggo]

well i think im gonna give it one more chance. hes getting on meds for bi polar. and he agreed to go to anger management, so i wouldnt leave. So we'll see how it goes. I dont think i could leave when i know that its a mental problem that can get fixed. his dad was abusive. so i pity him. i want to see if his meds will work.

[tritonalum07]

"Go to your local police department, explain what is going on in your home. File a restraining order against your husband from both you AND your son. And leave, with police escort if necessary. You will obviously end up in court sorting out visitation and support but he will not be able to bully you anymore if you do this."

I couldn't agree more. I think giving him another chance is a mistake, but not being in the situation myself, I can only give my outside opinion. Good luck.

[meggo]

thanks a lot

[WildChild]

A restraining order is piece of paper, not protection. It establishes boundries and possible results for failure to comply. It means the police should respond quickly if you call, there are no guarantees he will respect it but at least you will have formally established that there is a cause for fear and to restrict his access to both of you.