[kaylar]

When you are with friends...(not even going up to marriage)
you don't walk into a coffee shop, and order one coffee.

You ask them, "Would you like to go for coffee?"
You listen; "Yes" "No" "I don't know"...
and you say, "I'm going to grab a coffee? You want anything?"

Now if you don't have any money, or you don't have enough
to buy for a friend who might shout...'get me an espresso"
you don't mention the coffee.

It is part of learning how to live in society, how to relate
to other people, and I suppose it is a lot of work if one
is a selfish big baby.

I can't help reading your first post and recalling a story
told by a friend who was in High School in New York.

In September this absolutely georgeous guy came in.

His hair was shaggy and had golden highlights, and his
skin was dark tanned, and he smelled like the beach..
and he was wearing this vest top...(put on a shirt for
class, but had it open..) and the girls were like...ahhhh.

He had spent the summer surfing in Hawaii...
but as the season advanced, he lost his tan, he lost
his blond, he started to eat junk and get flabby, and
his surfer dude attitude turned into class dunce.

By Xmas break he was at the bottom of the class...
and nothing to look at.

Your husband reminds me of this story.

Away, he was a different guy, in a different situation.

Some marriages work going from crisis to crisis, but when
there is no crisis there is no marriage.

Whomever you thought you married, it's not your husband.

(

[Tadd]

get out

Hi
I ran across your story and was immediatly horrified for you. I have a neice and an old girlfriend is a very similar if not exact situation.

My experience knowing these two girls tells me it will never get better. He is self absorbed and in his mind the only person that matters. If you stay it will continue forever and his crying is only a way to manipulate you into staying, he cannot stand rejection.
Please, for your own good, get out of there. Go somewhere far away because if you stay close by, he will be at your doorstep trying to get you back. Most likely harrasing you. He will act the part of the man you married and will do his best to charm you, but once you go back to him, he will revert back into the person he is now.

The longer you stay the harder it will be to get out. He will eventually convince you that it's all your fault and your self esteem will drop. Then he has you right where he wants you.

I am a guy who has seen this too much. Please please help yourself now. Get out.
Tadd

[Guest]

Really, guys? All of this talk of the husband.

Why didn't anyone ask her about her decision to get married after 2 weeks? TWO?

Anyways.....
Understand that you didn't know this man well enough to make a life long commitment to him. Nor did he know you well enough. You both made a mistake.

RE: the sexual stuff....he's obviously into things that you aren't.

Trust me, while it may not be the norm, there are many marriages that work well with swinging involved.

Yes, he sounds selfish, blah blah. But what good does it do to sit here and blast on the man?

You don't have children, thank God. Divorce sounds like an answer.

And please, do not ever make the mistake of marrying someone after you've known them for two weeks.

[Little]

Epically old thread. Closed.