[Guest]

dont contact the guy and ask about the tape. it is a waste of time and may only cause problems for you that you dont have right now. he may have kept the tape, or may have erased it. regardless, bringing the topic up and reconnecting with this guy even to ask about it, just wont end well. your BF may see that as you trying to reconnect or whatever.

Mes_T gives some very good advice on how to proceed.

[stressed]

Married men don't tend to keep evidence of a past affair in fear of their wife finding out (he has more to lose than you). I don't know if it has been mentioned above, but can you see HIM clearly in the video? If you can then he wouldn't dare upload it. If you can't then it's either thrown or hidden somewhere very well that even he has forgotten where it is.

I wouldn't worry for the video as much as your boyfriend's reaction.

As for whether he'd show it to his friends, like it has been said, it depends on why he started this relationship for. If he honestly had feelings for you or if he at least respected or cared for you as a person, then he wouldn't do anything like that. If he was only after sex then he might have bragged to very few close friends of his, but I don't see it going further than that. It would be against him.

Unless we're talking about a very mentally disturbed person.

[love81]

well his face definitely comes out more than mine does, that is why i always thought to myself that he would erase it after telling me so. how can i get my bf to just forget about this and move on with our relationship? it looks as though im getting dumped anyway. he has been acting really depressed lately.

[KMonte85]

unfortunately, you can't make your bf get over the fact that you have a sexual past. That is something that he needs to work through himself. You can tell him that what is in the past, is in the past and you two need to focus on each other and your future, but that's about it. Really, it is quite immature of him to act in such a way after you were honest with him. He shouldn't be taking it so hard, and it is no reflection on you so try not to feel bad about how he is reacting. It's a reflection of his emotional maturity. If you break up over it, it is because he can't handle an adult relationship where each person has their own sexual history. You may be better off if he does leave, then you can find someone much less critical of you, who will love you unconditionally.

[rcoreyus]

If he can't accept this, maybe he isn't the right person for you. He needs to love you as you are, including past (and possibly future) mistakes.