[lovemyself1]

Jon and I have been together for almost a year, we are much in love and will get married next year. both of our second marriages, late 20's. i trust him, no cheating going on. he drives semi so is gone a lot. we talk on the phone a lot too. my problem is we always fight about the same things. i'm afraid we are going to get married then hate each other. sex life is fine, we fight about stupid stuff, i now part of the problem is he gets so angry at me so fast. i told him what i need...i need someone there no matter what, to boost me up when i'm down, to encourage me when i feel some doubt about the relationship. (lets face it, with all this arguing i do doubt we will be happily married sometimes.) i told him what i need to hear from him when i'm down...he says "im analytical, thats who i am. you shouldnt doubt us in the first place" true, but he cant even offer kind words of encouragement by saying...."we love each other and everything will work out.."
i feel so great when he is home and we can actually be together.

counseling isnt an option cuz he's gone so much and is never home at a regular time. i dont know what else to try, obviously communication isnt the best. how do i get through to him that i need reinforcement sometimes...

[CHANDLERS WISH]

He's a "man's man"

Hello, good to see you again.

Not all men will show emotions, will accomodate our desires in that department.

I didn't even think I needed them, wanted them, I'm very independent and also not insecure, but as strange as that is, I have someone in my life that is very lovey, always says he loves me..

You say you can't wait to see him persay when he gets home.

He is saying, "trust" that's also a big word as much as communication...

If you can say I love you, can't wait to see you, hurry up and get your butt back home and leave it at that. He will smile, in the knowing you trust him.. and in that, you may just find one day, he will come out with some things you would love to hear.

At this point, he is saying, don't be in-secure, I'm marrying you, so I must love you.

He's a man's man..

CW

[lovemyself1]

thanks CW.
he tells me repeatedly that he loves me. you are right, i just need to relax and stop trying so hard. i think i'm causing a lot of the issues by worrying so much about the 'perfect' relationship. i believe we have all of the ingredients to make a good marriage, we just need to figure out the recipe

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Well, if he "tells you" then your fear is the time you are alone..

And, that's your trigger

So, you need to find things to do to make yourself stronger that's all.

THAT'S the recipe....It's lonliness that's bringing this on....

CW