[JadedQueen]

I agree with the previous posts.... as uncomfortable as it may be for your husband he's going to have to find a tactical way to tell this woman that her flirting makes him uncomfortable, he's flattered but he is happily in love with you and even if he were single there are lines that just aren't crossed, she is with his brother. How does your husbands brother react to her flirting with your hubby? He has to notice it... right? Is this woman just naturally flirty or is she only like that towards your man? If her relationship with your brother in law is rocky she may be flirting to spark some jealousy in him and what better way to do that then by flirting with his brother.

I think the only way to resolve this is for your hubby to bite the bullet and say something to her. There are ways to be tactful about it but it has to stop because the problems are only going to escalate. Good luck and let us know what happens.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

One thing you can do, say to your husband, regardless, is "you owe it to your brother to tell her "not to sms you, putting him down", he's blood, regardless of what else she is doing.

I believe if you could bring that up, she would end up sms'ing him less and as a result see him in a different light.

Often, it's a case of "who is listening to me?" Oh, he is... Oh I like him and so the fantasies happen.

By cutting of that way of communication, you may find that your problem is solved.

CW

[BettyBoo]

Thank you all for taking the time to give me advice
We will be around them this weekend so I shall see what happens, act on your advice and also speak to my husband if it carries on...
Thanks

[JadedQueen]

Does your brother in law notice her flirting with your husband at all??? It sounds like she is obvious about it..... just wondering if it makes him uncomfortable, jealous, or mad? I know you aren't worried about your husband and it sounds like you have no reason to worry about it. How well do you get along with her? It would be difficult for me to be pleasant to a woman that flirts with my man, almost like she has no respect for your relationship with your husband, and no respect for your husbands relationship with his brother. Is she just one of those people that doesn't care about other people cuz it's all about her?

[sourpuss]

I'm convinced she's doing it to get attention from her man.

[BettyBoo]

You could be right as my brother in law is always putting her down and calling her names when they've had too much to drink and to be honest he would have to be blind not to notice how she throws her head back laughing and touches my husband's knee every ten mins but I don't think he cares....That's where my husband is torn, he feels sorry for her as she doesn't get attention or displays of affection the way I do so in a way I feel mean but it makes me feel uncomfortable and I'm sorry but I'm not into sharing!! Whenever her partner says anything mean to her and we're there, she grabs my husband and asks him to tell her partner to stop being mean to her!! She's 40, older than the rest of us and it makes me cringe, she's in no way shy or nervous and she has enough confidence to flash her bits at my husband so why doesn't she tell my brother in law to get lost if she's not happy with him?!!! We get on really well but I find it all false when she flirts with my husband and I find it hard to respect her

[sourpuss]

She's not confident. That's the thing. She's doing the only thing she knows how to do to get attention. It probably worked for her in the past but it's not working now. The brother-in-law putting her down and ignoring her is the root of the problem. She's just insecure, lost and doesn't know how to appropriately stand up for her needs in the relationship so she acts out by flirting to make him 'realize' she could leave or do better, etc. But she's failing to see that it's not working and in fact, it's making it worse.

Can you befriend her in a way that she'll turn to you when he's like that rather than your husband? Next time he cuts her down, be the first to call him out on it in front of them both, so she knows that you noticed what's going on. Maybe she'll be less prone to grab your husband if she sees that you're paying attention. I don't know. This is tough.

[BettyBoo]

Thank you, I've thought of that but my jealousy of her flirting with my husband overshadowed the fact that she's unhappy in her relationship...The only thing is that's me getting involved in their problems if I stand up for her and call him out and my husband hates me interfering in areas that he sees as none of my business!! He has either told her to talk to his brother or ignored her sms up to now and he just laughs off the flirting...I'll talk to him again, thanks.

[LanaBear]

Can you befriend her in a way that she'll turn to you when he's like that rather than your husband? Next time he cuts her down, be the first to call him out on it in front of them both, so she knows that you noticed what's going on. Maybe she'll be less prone to grab your husband if she sees that you're paying attention. I don't know. This is tough.

That is a good idea. I would be talking to her about it too though. You need to find a way to tell her that although you like her and consider her a friend, you do notice the flirting towards your husband and you don't appreciate it. Tell her it makes your husband uncomfortable too, but he's just too nice to say anything. Right now, she's not seeing anything wrong with it because the both of you are just letting her go on about her business. Nip it in the butt, but do it diplomatically to start. Don't call her out on it in front of everyone.

[samanthatallon]

I think you should just tell her yourself as awkward as it is, this is your bf, he is taken, and is not interested, and the poor little guy is too nice. Invite her round and be nice, but be firm and tell her, simply, what your doing is neither fair or nice. And is she is embarressed that serves her right. You poor thing, Ill keep the hand bag at the ready! keep me posted on it. You both sound like a lovely couple, but maybe your being too tolerant. xxx