[Allie602]

You have sensible friends. Pretend it was the other way around and you were the one with the ex who ignored your fiance and who was included on yearly vacations. If your fiance was as upset about it as you are now what would you do? Would you put him through once yearly trips or consider him too precious to be put into a position of distress. Expect the same for yourself and keep after him till you get it.

This is and idea - do you think your fiance is enjoying having two women fighting over him? Could this be an ego trip over this? Why do you think you need to go on vacation every year. Look, if this is a problem for you then it's a problem for him. The way you handle this situation sets the tone in your marriage so you need to stop doubting your perceptions.
At present, his ex has you tip-toeing around and that's not right. You are not over-reacting, you are reacting to him not taking care of you. You must drive this point home, weather he understands it or not, it is how you feel, I think you need to get her out of your lives period. No vacations.

. If you feel that you are not in a position of strength on this matter in regards to you and your future husband being on the same page then I think you need to work on