[Shelly1234]

Thanks Pretzel and others, I really apreciate the advice. I really needed it and I still woulnd't mind seeing opinions from others. Thanks alot

[Mes T]

I totally agree with the others, get out asap and move in with your parents until you find a job. If you start looking for entry-level jobs, I'm sure you can find something REALLY fast. And then once you've got some kind of income, you can start looking for jobs that fit you a bit more if you want.

My advice is this: DON'T ask your husband to continue supporting you while you look for a job. You don't love him, don't want to be with him, so it's best if you don't OWE him anything.

[sourpuss]

My advice is this: DON'T ask your husband to continue supporting you while you look for a job. You don't love him, don't want to be with him, so it's best if you don't OWE him anything.

I agree! I didn't want to be the one to say, but I think trying to get financial support out of this divorce, at this point, is unwarranted. You don't love him, you don't want to save the marriage. You're free to walk away at any point, but I think asking to be compensated is unfair.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

My ex used to come home and go on his motorbike Was a slob around the house and never helped with a thing, I also got to the point that I didn't want him to touch me.

When I got to the point where your at I also had no idea, what I was going to do, how, I had a job, in fact I owned a business, but things were very tight...

I also was walking on egg shells, for the same reason the more I asked for some help, some relationship, some us time, the more he got angry.

This decision is about your well being.

And even in fear of what next, how? The first thing you have to do is talk to people and your doing that

Talk to your parents, let them know what is happening, you know your welcome there.. Start looking on line or through their paper, for jobs now..

Yes, I did move into a place of my own, but I never thought that was possible until I did my homework

And I re-built my business stronger, now with someone beautiful and loving, giving and he helps make the bed

You've made the management decision, there will be obsticles and hurdles but you will no longer feel locked away, hidden, un-loved you will be free, free to be you...

It will slowly all fall into place then...

As for support? Where here, type away how it's all going what you've done, what your doing next, we'll still be here

[tesoro]

[QUOTE=CHANDLERS WISH;212163]

My ex used to come home and go on his motorbike Was a slob around the house and never helped with a thing, I also got to the point that I didn't want him to touch me.

When I got to the point where your at I also had no idea, what I was going to do, how, I had a job, in fact I owned a business, but things were very tight...

I also was walking on egg shells, for the same reason the more I asked for some help, some relationship, some us time, the more he got angry.

This decision is about your well being.

My ex used to come home and lay on the couch to watch TV. I would cook the meals, do the dishes, the laundry, all the banking and take care of the kids. For several years I worked full-time and studied at night. I finally broke down one Fall and went on "strike" refusing to do anything except cooking. He finally pitched in but resented doing it. Some men are just too macho in their mindset to set you as a partner and to be equitable with you. I also got to the point where I didn't want him to even touch me. He was always angry and I was always sad....not a healthy situation.

Your well-being is at stake here. Don't allow yourself to remain in such an unhealthy environment. I can tell you that now that I am on my own, I feel such a great sense of peace. You deserve that too. If the love is gone, don't waste your time and energy hanging on...it's not worth wasting any more of your precious time.

[jns]

Sounds like you should put your car up for sale, get a buyer, buy a plane ticket, get a kennel,and fly back to Arkansas with your dog and photos. Find someone to stay with. If you can get enough for your car, you can buy one in Arkansas and then you will be able to work on getting a job.

[Shelly1234]

Thanks alot everyone, I REALLY APRECIATE IT!!Helped me loads . I think my next step will be talking to my parents about it.

[Mrs.W]

Are you sure that this is something that you truly want? It's so easy to say that "we are done", just trying to satisfy the moment. Then later on, realizing that we may have made the wrong choice. It's just a big step. There was a reason you got married right? There was a time and point you were in love. Maybe talking about things may help. To your surprise, he may say he feels the same or he may say, we need to work on things as I do not want to loose you. Sometimes, when I read about these types of situations, it reminds me of me and where I once was in my life. I was done at one point with my husband. I thought I had all the answers and there was no turning back and fixing anything! But, things did change. So .. It's up to you. But .. when your heart is not in it, then it's not there. But .. things are always worth a second chance. Sometimes, it may take more than that. Good luck!

[Allie602]

If he is abusive, I would get plans in place without his knowledge. If you cannot predict what he will do then you need to protect yourself and get out without him knowing. The most dangerous times for a woman with a violent partner is when she is about to leave. I think you should have along talk with your Mom and let her know what's up. Don't let anyone talk you into staying your done and you can do considerably better than you are now.

You cannot do this with out help. If you can reconnect with one or more good friends and explain why you have been isolated they may understand and give you a hand. Is there someone who can visit you and help you to move? Is it possible to drive from Alaska to the lower states? (I'm so ignorant of geography)

You need people and money and assistance. Any brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, grands. You gotta think big here take advantage of all resources to get out. This is no time to be proud or private, I think you will be surprised at how many people are willing to help if you explain your situation and reach out. There is no shame in reaching out for help. It's a primal human urge to help others in need, makes people feel good so don't deny them the satisfaction of helping a person in need. So you have some planning to do and actions to take, consider it an adventure a journey to a better life!

I will digress : consider this is a learning experience, you are still very young so you will have other more suitable relationship but never allow yourself to be isolated by a man again. We all need people in our lives especially when we are in relationships, never drop your friends they are your lifelines.

[sahbunky]

I strongly believ there's away out. I don't know y u say u are done with the marriage. If you change ur mind are ready to face it. I sugest this book to u "The Secret Of Family Happiness". It has saved a lot of marriages that has even been worse than yours.