[torn2pieces]

So what do you advice I do? Go with what I know and act on it? At this point I do believe he has not cheated, his behavior shows that but he feels he can have friends all he wants. I will say at the present moment this is the only "friend" I know about. I am confused, but it sounds like you would advice I quit snooping, take what I know and act on it. Yes your right, I am waiting on the moment, caught in the act so he can't give me any excuse. At the moment, all I can say is "you disrespected me". I can't leave off just that, he has had to bring many things to my attention that was disrespectful to him. We do have kids and we are a happy family, everyday with everyday family duties and he participates big time, a great father and good to me. I'm confused on what I should do.

[Ashlee T.]

It's hard to tell you what you should do....because we of course don't know all the story. In some of your other posts, he has been portrayed one way...in your last post, he is portrayed another way.

If he is good to you (which is hard for me to understand given some of the things you've said he does)
If he is a great father
If he is a contributing spouse
If you truly do not believe he has cheated

Then I'd recommend cutting off ALL snooping as it's doing you no good. Are you looking for a way out? And if so, why?

Learn to talk to him when you're emotions aren't running sky high. Tell him you want to be included in his life, you want to meet his friends so that you can be more comfortable with them. And most importantly, start having a life of your own. Show him that you're not going to sit at home raising the kids, snooping after him while he's out living it up.

[Casey715]

The thing with bringing that girl home to pee, I think this prove he is not cheating.
If he was cheating, he would not bring her to your house.
Why are you going to try to catch him cheating?
It seems to me that you have already made up your mind.
Just leave, you will never trust him.
Without trust, your relationship is already over.

[torn2pieces]

I do not feel he is cheating. I just feel he will sneak around my back or disrespect me by hanging out with other girls. I want to establish boundries when it comes to him and these other girls. I don't want to leave. What we have is great and we are good together. You do bring up a good point for me to think about, what is I am trying to catch him doing. I guess it is hanging out with other girls.

[stressed]

I guess it is hanging out with other girls.

But you already know that. By telling him the obvious, either on the act or by showing him proof, it won't change him. He won't stop wanting female friends just because you "caught" him or because of the argument that will follow. This is who he is, whether he cheats or not. He likes hanging out with girls. He will always like that. If he talks about marriage and still behaves like a bachelor he won't instantly begin to act like a husband overnight.

I wonder what kind of job he has that involves so many women. Maybe his job makes you insecure as well?

Snooping or not, I'm just afraid that this is who he is. You have children together but you obviously cannot stay together like this. You either both make major lifestyle changes or you end it. As right now you are both suffering: He has to hide his friends and you have to go through his computer. You are both unhappy.