[sweet2thecore023]

I know they say..." he put his hands on you once he'll do it again ". My husband put his hands on me once. And he doesn't show signs of being an abuse husband. Should I be worried anyway?

[rcoreyus]

How long ago did it happen and why did it happen. I don't think its possible to make a general rule the works in all cases. Often (but not always) someone who hits will do it again.

[p3375]

sweet:
I think you should be vigilant, not worried.
What many men do doesn't mean all will, and your guy may be the exception. That said, keep an eye out for behaviors that lead up to physical abuse - cursing, yelling, posturing (drawing hand back as if to hit). Also, remember that mental abuse can be as bad or worse than physical abuse. Be aware and don't tolerate either.
Pat

[jns]

I know they say..." he put his hands on you once he'll do it again ". My husband put his hands on me once. And he doesn't show signs of being an abuse husband. Should I be worried anyway?

What was his reaction to doing this, horror or getting even more angry?

[Ashlee T.]

Chances are, (Statistically anyway) that he will do it again. There are always exceptions, maybe he will be one of them. But there is a certain element of a man that CAN get to the point of using his physical power to control, hurt, punish a woman. He who has that element, always has it. It's always there, the ability to do it. It's sort of like this scenario, most women who birth children would give their very life to protect those babies. But one woman in that mix, might be capable of killing her babies to protect herself or to get what she wants. There is something in that woman that makes her different from the rest of us. And there is something in a man who will put his hands on a woman, that is different from the rest of men.

If you choose to stay, then you must know it can happen again. And you must be prepared and pay not only attention to what he does to you physically, but what he does to you emotionally on a day to day basis as well.

[Olympia]

sweet2thecore023... you state

I know they say..." he put his hands on you once he'll do it again ". My husband put his hands on me once. And he doesn't show signs of being an abuse husband. Should I be worried anyway?

1st question would be; How long have you been married? then, How long did you know him prior to marriage? Reason i ask this, is i wonder at your stating...

he doesn't show signs of being an abuse husband.

2nd; What led up to the physical abuse? And the severity...

[Lunarchic224]

I dont mean to scare you but read my thread. Not every man is an abuser but remember to not ignore the signs

[jeumaan]

It will happen again. Cricle of violence, google it. =/

[Allie602]

What are your boundaries, does he know what they are? How was your reaction when he did this? The biggest thing is that you have to let him know if he even seems as if he will become physical again, you will leave. And do it. You must be in a mind set to leave this man, if he thinks there are no consequences he will continue being physical.

I don't know how old he is or his relationship history but I doubt if this is the first time. you said he didn't show signs before but now he has revealed that he is capable of abuse. It usually escalates slowly until things are out of hand so be ready to leave. If you don't have children What will you do if it happens again?

[stressed]

After having experienced a man who has never hit a woman, a man who repeatedly hit women, a man who nearly has hit a woman, a man who has only hit a woman once, and by observing/learning about the reactions of many men among friends/family:

I've actually reached the conclusion that given the circumstance, the environment, the stress, the pressure, the heat, time, moment etc. I believe that any man can hit a woman at least once in his life, or be very close to doing so. What can vary is the number of times a man is actually going to be violent towards a woman or whether he has very good control of himself. Otherwise, there's no general rule. A man who's never hit a woman might do so at some point and a man who's hit one might as well hit her again. It's just that the more times he does it in his life the more obvious it becomes that he's never going to stop.