[CHANDLERS WISH]

His parents, were in their 40's /50's, so they have old fashioned values, that being that the children do what ever, if one is lazy so be it, the other will do it.

The thing that bothers me most if that they have to only rely on him to do everything. His older brother’s ex wife can’t even come over to get her kids cuz she’s lazy and worthless. HE has to do EVERY little tiny thing. His younger brother has no responsibilities what so ever, his parents are perfectly capable of doing something every now and then. I don’t get why it’s only him who has to do every thing for them when there are other people in the house who can do it just as well.

And, when your fiancee moves out, they will then concentrate on the younger brother.

It sounds to me that they are very giving people, as BD stated, they should be retired, not working two jobs and both working at that age.. They support you, your fiancee, their 18 yr old son, grand kids, and I'm sure they've asked others but like you've said, doesn't happen, your fiancee may say no, but he does help, so they feel they can rely on him..

It's not his parents you should be peeved with or talk to, it's the others in the family that need to pull their weight... His parents are soft. They've lived for their children, and their children don't like doing anything...

Imagine how they feel? Constantly having to co-ordinate, work things out, whilst working, cooking, getting groceries, they must be tired... to the hilt...

I think your seeing it the wrong way.. At least someone is there for them... and respects what they are doing for them, doesn't matter what the others don't do....

CW

[Winged_Muse]

Who pays for his gas, insurance and car maintanence?

He has a little money so he's able to pay for gas. His dad is a mechanic so a lot of his car maintenance is free.

[Winged_Muse]

Well right now all they’re worried about is getting the younger brother into college. He has less than a year left of his senior year of high school so who knows how fast that’ll happen. Means if the younger brother leaves before he does, it’ll still just come down to him doing everything under the sun.

His dad plans to retire in the next year, like I said he’s 72 and just can’t work for the entire shop anymore since he’s the only hard worker there when everyone else are morons and don’t know what they are doing. His mom doesn’t think she’ll retire anytime soon, she loves to work, or at least loves her job at the beauty shop. They actually DO NOT support me what so ever. They don’t really support the grand kids either. Because his mom works at Sears, she is able to get them school clothes every once and a while when discounts permit since their dad is lazy and can never save up money to save his life. Sure, their dad works hard and makes good money but it’s gone within a day of getting his pay check.

I guess you all would really have to be here to see it for yourselves. It’s a lot worse than I could really explain it. I guess this was pretty much a pointless thread, please delete it or lock it. I feel no more need to explain this stuff anymore since I’m not explaining it well enough as I see it.

[sourpuss]

How do you pay for food and other stuff if you aren't working?

[Winged_Muse]

What I was saying was I don't rely on HIS parents to get me the things I personally need.
I have some money, not very much that I'm trying to get built up to save till I do get a job. I have about $400 maybe, if that. I'm a freelance artist so I do what I can with that.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Winged_Muse,

You know it's tough living under someone else's roof... You have to go by their rules.. They ask for assistance because they both work... As, I said, it's not relevant if the other brothers or sister in law aren't pulling their weight, as far as they are concerned, if it's eating you up this bad, then you have to gently ask them to help more...

The bottom line is, you have a roof over your head, food on the table, no electricity, gas bills to pay, his car is done for nothing, washing, cleaning, everything...

What more can they do? Why is it so horrible that in return, they ask him to help them out, as he's not working?

I don't think your seeing it that way, ...

Forget what other people "don't do" and concentrate on the fact that your fiancee is a good person and he needs to see, that for all they have done and are doing for him and you, he's giving back.

Isn't that what life is all about?

CW

[Winged_Muse]

Alright.
After talking with him about it tonight, he’s told me more things about his past that I didn’t exactly know. He told me that his younger brother is praised for everything. He’s a straight A student in everything. They’re talking big colleges with him that they never talked about with my fiancé. Sure, he went to college (same place I did) but it was a worthless school. His younger brother has NO responsibilities at all. His brother is rewarded for every good report card he gets and my fiancé never once got rewarded because of good grades or anything like that. Middle child, what do you expect? Relied on to do every single little tiny thing and I mean EVERY little teeny tiny thing. They ask no one else to do it.

I’m sorry but it still bothers me and they know what they’re doing to him isn’t making things any better. They wonder why he gets angry and blows up with them and he’s already confronted them about every thing I’ve already explained here and they do nothing to stop it. They’ve never even stopped and asked his younger brother to help out. My fiancé has to force him to get up out of bed (he sleeps till like noon) and help him with stuff and that’s only on days he’s off school. Trust me guys, this is WAY worse than I can even explain and it’s just frustrating me more having to type it all out. Yes he’s a good person and he does this stuff but it stresses him out whenever we have to. He’s tired of running everyone’s little errands for them and it’s constantly every day something like that comes up. Yea he may not have a job (and YES we’re looking hard) but still, they shouldn’t rely on him THAT much, spread the responsibility out a little bit for god’s sake.

His car is actually NOT done for anything. His monthly bill is crazy. Washing it is no big deal and his oil changed and fluid checks are basically free and he can do it himself pretty much. Laundry he does himself, he can cook, etc.

I live at MY Parent’s house. I do not live under their roof just to clarify to those who may think I do. I do not live with them. I’m not blaming his older brother and ex sister in law, I’m not really blaming anyone. I just wish they’d spread out some responsibilities once and a while and not drag him down to do it every god forsaken thing.

I guess this is more of a Vent thread than anything. Guess we can’t do much about it until we get jobs and move.

[Ashlee T.]

Guess we can’t do much about it until we get jobs and move.

Exactly.