[Candy K]

I think every man has trouble with commuincation in relationships! We are wired differently! Ever read Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus! Its pretty insightful! It gives the different persectives on how each sex deals with situations!
Woman want to talk things through for peace and closure and Men retreat from the problem.
There has to be some kind of half way meeting point here for you two! ie. if you let him go out and cool off he should promise to come home and talk with you! Clamly!
Its all about give and take, and one person can't do all the giving or taking. You'll end up with resentment and it sounds like its already heading that way!!!
All you can do is try other alternatives like maybe therapy! Would he get mad if you just made an appointment with someone for you two!?

Best of luck!

[jen0519]

Well, I just wanted to let yall know that everything has gone back to normal. I have never been with someone for so long and I am just starting to understand the ups and downs of relationships. I told him that i didn't like it when he went out all the time so he just started having his friends come over here. So now I have a house full of dudes most nights! Its not so bad. They are all very respectful of me. Well, more scared I think! I think Ryan must have told them I was crazy or something! I don't know, I am just happy that he is here again. I told him that we need to have better communication and he agreed. Over the past few months things have really gotten better in that area. I actually got him to agree to go to counseling, but right after is when the communication got so much better. And it hasn't stopped. We just both have to realize that there will be more downs. We just have to keep on trying to make it an up again.

[LadyLane]

I'm happy for you. When I got married, my mother told me this - sometimes you will love each other equally, sometimes you will love him more than he loves you, and sometimes he will love you more than you love him. You just hang in there until its equal again.

And its true. First off, a lot of people just do not enjoy confrontation. To him, maybe it was easier to just be away and ignore the tension than have it escalate.

We're all wired very differently... you said some days he comes home and it seems like he's looking for a fight. Well, if you're in a good mood, just say, "Oh honey, you seem like you might need some time to yourself. I'll leave you alone." This way, he can't fight with you about anything because you've already sensed it's "one of those days."

Please don't think about divorce as an answer to anything. It's a horribly sad thing that must happen sometimes, but its never a good solution. It screws up our children in ways we cannot imagine, regardless of what wonderful parents we may be. Never give up; it's easier to do that, and harder to fight for a marriage. Stay and fight.

Sounds like you just had a few kinks to work out.

[dawn9800]

That quote was beautiful LadyLane your mom is a smart lady