[CHANDLERS WISH]

Depends....

On one word... Love.

Yes, you can turn a marriage into a friendship and that is where it sits, lays and never changes.

But, you can turn a friendship into a relationship, by both realising and loving each other still and going back to where it all started.

Don't you think he may want to work at it, save it, start dating again, being more intimate, or do you think that you just stayed in a marriage for your children and it was always, cold, or non intimate, not fun..

Only you know that bit...

CW

[Theresa]

My spark for him is gone. I really don't know if I want it to try. I think it's to late. Grrrr......I am in a pickle. Thanks!!!!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

That can happen

Why not, ask him for a date? A dinner date, just the two of you, get dressed up and "see" if you see anything in him, if something clicks or nothing

[Theresa]

I could give it a try. However, I'm not holding my breath.

[auntie_awesome]

It takes a lot of effort. It might feel frustrating some days....but the effort can pay off. Why not try just doing 'datey' type things. Try mini golf one weekend, another weekend a movie, instead of dinner at home why not just go out for appetizers and drinks or dessert and coffee, you can drive to a city a few hours away head to the zoo then drive the scenic route back. If there isn't much money, look for free community things to try and do, go for walks. They are small ideas, but they help.

[Colorado]

Sorry to hear that Theresa,

Wish I knew him, sounds like he needs a good heart to heart, and someone to sit him down and explain just how much that hurt you. I'm not in any way at all condoning what he has done (or actually what he didn't do), but he probably just thinks that you are so close, that he can just treat you like one of the guys (basically taking you for granted). He just doesn't understand that being comfortable with someone doesn't mean you no longer have to show appreciation, and in fact should make the effort to show more.

I know you stated that you've talked with him about this, and that your tired of talking about it, but have you expressed (in a serious and sincere manner) just how much he really hurt you by doing this? Is he just treating you like a bud? or do you think he genuinely doesn't care?

Sad that he doesn't "get it", and I hope it doesn't take something drastic after 20 years before he realizes how good he has it, only by losing you.
20 years is a great accomplishment to throw away; especially in this day and age.

Wishing you the best (sincerely).