[patricias213]

hello everyone,

I was talking to my friend the other day and he was offering advice on marriage and the secret to a successful marriage. In his opinion his secret is , dont let anyone come in between the relationship between you and your partner including kids whatever happenes dont let it interfere. As a wife i will accept any advice on marriage becuase to me its probably the most important thing in my life. I dont currently have any major problems, like any normal couple we have our lil fights and i've had the "in laws" problems too. I'm really writing this thread to ask any other women or men to share what they think is there secret to a successful marriage is. I think it will be interesting to hear what other people think on this.
Kaylar, if you do past by this thread i would love your opinion i know you have worked with many couples and would really appreciate it if you do give your advice. thanks alot in advance everyone!

[kaylar]

The most successful couples, that is people
who have been together for over twenty years
(some over fifty) is that, they argue, but can
'stick a pin' when it matters...such as they
are arguing over something, and one of them
says, "Oh, by the way, I forgot to tell you
that George's Father died..." and immediately
they start to talk about George's father, the
argument not important.

Another thing I notice is that they have
lives separate from each other, so that
although they do things together it's not
mandatory that if he wants to go to the
movie and she doesn't he HAS to stay home
or she HAS to go.

They also listen to each other, esp. in
public. Her voice or His voice is 'louder'
to their ears than anyone else's, so that
if she's talking about something, you can't
speak to him, because he'll say, "Shh, I'm
listening to wife."

I think it boils down to a respect they have
for each other.

The Siamese Twins don't last. The Clones
don't last. Even the Working At Marriage
don't last.

The ones that last are those between two
separate people who care about each other.

Of all the couples that have really strong marriages,
there is never the obvious signs it's just like, they
are supposed to be together, and they don't think
about it.

[patricias213]

My mother in law and father in law have been married for 20 years plus, yet i dont get there marriage. He has cheated on her countless times, hit her and to me he has a alcohol problem which she doesnt like at all. Recently, one of his high school girlfriend was in town and they started having an affair with my mother in law knowing! how crazy is that? plus she was ok with it, well thats what she told my husband who hated every bit of it. Everyone was saying how stressed she looked and knew it was becuase of that but yet she didnt want anyone not even her children to talk to there father about his affair. My husband also found out that he has a step brother by this same woman who is father was having the affair with and the step brother is my husbands age! So seems like his father cheated back then with this woman and now shes back in town and there he goes again. what i dont get is my inlaws have so many problems yet they been married for so long, i never understood why my mother in law stuck with him after all that he put her through. I would surely like to hear there secret!

[kaylar]

When I see marriages, as the one you have described
I compare it to various similar relationships in which
the wife has ceased to care about the husband as
a man or a partner.

I can think of a number of relationships in which the
wife literally doesn't care what the husband does as
long as he doesn't bother her.

These are name only marriages. The reason the wife
'stays' is that either she likes where she's living...
the house, the neighbors, etc. Or that he has so
ceased to matter to her he is no more than a kind
of boarder.

This is nothing to look at as a real marriage.

[TeeHicks]

Communication is key