[Pita_C]

So I posted a week ago that my husband left me. Well, come to find out he's been hitting on my younger sisters friends and other girls her age. She's 17. He's 20. I'm just curious as to why he's so desperate to be with younger girls...he's been hitting on any girl no matter what. But mainly the younger ones. I know I should just move on but I just wanna know why this could be.

[Guest]

Sounds like a case of too young to be tied down to me. It's not the age he's after, at 20 his hormones are still running out of control. Too young to be married, it sounds like to me. It's not you that he is driven away from and not your fault. He's still too immature for a solid, steady relationship. Most men aren't ready until they're over 25 or so. Search for someone that's the same mental age you are and you'll be happy. I hope you find peace and can move on quickly. Again, it's not you that's at fault here. You'll find someone who is ready for a solid relationship soon.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

Perfect answer from the above poster MarkT can't add anymore to that........

Unless, you are all woman and he can't handle that so needs a less mature woman to control, handle......

CW

[Crystalblue]

I definitely agree with Mark & CW on the maturity issue, but one thing I believe is it's not about age, young or old, heavy or thin, smart or dumb. It's about old and new. If he's not mature enough to be in a serious relationship, it has nothing to do with you. There's nothing you could change about yourself to fix that. He's just not a man/dad yet.

[Pita_C]

Thanks guys. I just have so many questions with no answers. But I can see how y'all are right about being immature.I realize he is immature and so not worth my time.I guess just getting some reassurance really does help a ton! Thank you so much.

[WildChild]

To you the 3 year age difference is, well, a real age difference. From the perspective of over 50, 3 years is nothing. I'm seeing a man who is 6 years younger than me - he's 46, (ancient to you LOL) its all a matter of perspective. 20 and 17, neither is old enough to go into a bar and have a drink. Mark said it well, he lacks maturity. Some people are pretty mature at 17 or 18, others aren't at 30. It sounds like you are one who has matured early and he is one who will mature much later.

[Little]

A given person can be as mature at 20 as others might be as 65. This guy is obviously not.
Psychologically, men seeking younger partners has been explained as them looking for women capable of carrying a child with their genes to term. The funny thing about this is, a 17yo is probably less capable of doing so than a 20yo. (Conversely, women seek older men because they are more likely to be stable and capable of providing for those children.)
However, there should be a good deal of difference between the interests and understandings of a 17yo, who hasn't yet been out in the world and has to explore and become her own person, and a 20yo who has already had 2 years of exploration and should have done some growing to separate himself from his high school self. Obviously, individual situations will err from the norm, but in general I view anyone in their 20's who "hit on" underaged girls to be emotionally underdeveloped.

[rcoreyus]

I actually think that in almost all cases 20 is too young to get married. People change so much as they age that people who were compatible at 20 aren't that likely to be at 30, 40 ....

In his particular case, maybe hitting on younger girls is because he feels like he is getting old too quickly - fells he missed some of the freedom that comes with youth.

I know that none of this will make you feel better, just suggestions on how to understand.

[Hopeless Dork]

If you are around 20... him going after girls a few years younger has nothing to do with looks or appeal.. you probably don't look all that much older than they do -- what its about is control, the naivity of younger girls. Like others mentioned, he probably can make a 17 year old think he's AWESOME... while an older woman , even just a few years older... could see through his game.

[CHANDLERS WISH]

They also say due to us women having babies, our maturity level has to be higher, as a natural progress to support our child/children, it was stated that men's maturity is 4 years younger than a woman.....

Age is not the relevence here and you've seen that, it's more of probably due to your maturity he's not stupid enough to try on another 20 year old

You are young, very young you will find what you are looking for, obviously this person wasn't the one you thought he was and that's okay, learn by that and know what you want and don't settle for less.

CW