[LanaBear]

most men are addicted porn and it is an extremely hard addiction to kick.

Call me crazy, but I don't agree with this at all.

[LanaBear]

He knows this time that it is a big deal and said he wouldn't do it again, but I keep thinking if he didn't stop before why would he stop now.

He didn't stop before because he didn't know you had a big issue with it. Give him the benefit of the doubt, the more you communicate about everything, the better life will be.

And... I will say this now, give him some courtesy too. Don't go snooping through all his stuff with the intent of finding something to bury him on. That isn't healthy, either you trust him or you don't...

[rcoreyus]

If he is using porn when you are available to have sex with him, then I see that as a BIG problem. If he is using porn as a masturbation aid when you are not available to have sex with him, then I wouldn't consider it a big issue -rather like a woman using a vibrator. I not bothered by his hiding it - some people are very shy about anything sexual and aren't able to discuss their desires and needs.

[Lynn22]

Thanks again for all the posts. He told me he didn't know why he did it, and that he needed help stopping (blockers and check ups). I said that I didn't want to have to look for it, or ask him about it, so I have no intention of looking for it by snooping (I know that is not healthy), but I did put up a porn blocker on my computer since he said he needed help, and come to figure out they are not worth a unless you pay to get one. I still don't have full trust in him yet, and I hope in time he can prove that I can trust him again. He is not sexually shy at all, he will tell the whole world about the sex he has. The first time I caught him with porn he was doing it just about every day (with or without sex from me) that is why I thought it might be a problem, and it seems like him doing it behind my back when he knew it was wrong, confirms that it was and still is a problem. I have been trying to talk things out more, and I guess that has helped, but I think I need time to heal, and hopefully everything will go back to somewhat normal. I just don't know if I can go threw this again.

[SarahRene86]

My fiancee has a porn collection too and actually alot of my friends husbands/boyfriends/fiancees have one. I dont think the issue is how often he is watching porn, or masturbating to it, ort even why he is hiding it, because we know why he is hiding it (because he knows you dont approve). He may have had girlfriends in the past that overreact to this kind of stuff and so he might be a little jaded. For me I personally don't care if my fiancee watches porn. If hes at home watching porn, I know he is not out with another woman you know what I mean? However a friend of mine and her husband did have a little porn issue. for them they made a deal that has worked wonders for them. the deal is if he ever is feeling frisky she will never say no However.... he cannot watch porn unless she is in the room with him. For her, it made her feel a little better about him watching it and she says it actually improved their communication as well as their sex life. only you will know what works for you, but in my previous experiences, porn is just a guy thing that we will never understand. I wouldnt freak out too much.