[Skoobie]

I have been arguing with myself over this for about a week...
Here's my situation:
My hubby has a female employee who he is very good friends with, has been for several years. In the past, I have questioned him several times whether he had "more than" friendly feelings towards her. He always denies it. He says he has a strong "friendly connection" to her, but nothing physical.
Lately though, I have noticed that they are working together much more, when they aren't working together they are texting back and forth... work stuff? maybe, maybe not. My problem with the texting is that he erases the messages... I only know about the texting because I watch our cell phone account online. Her and I get along, but don't talk much. Other employees have brought to my attention lately that they seem very friendly with each other. They do hang out outside of work with other friends, but I have been invited also. sometimes I go, but not all the time. I refuse to feel like I have to go along and "babysit"... not the type of relationship I want to be in.
I don't know, my gut tells me it's more than just friendship.
What should I do? Confront him, knowing he may not tell the truth anyway? Keep my mouth shut and eyes open and just wait it out for now? Am I over-reacting?

[-Kya-]

You feel like your over-reacting because its just you and yourself debating the situation. Speaking to your husband about it will make you see more clearly, and help you to be open about your feelings regarding his relationship with this lady. I know your feelings, I have been there before. My boyfriend had a female friend at work and they would meet up etc, and just seeing them together and their 'chemistry' would infuriate me because I would be constantly eating myself away thinking that something was going on. And thats what it will do to you.
Go out with them when they invite you out. Get to know the lady better. Lets be honest, if anything seedy was going on between the two of them, the last thing that they would probably be doing is inviting you along to the party anyway.

You need to speak to him about your feelings though. You will end up feeling so miserable about it that you will end up telling your husband how you feel in the wrong frame of mind. Maybe including a punch to the face! ha!

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You know it is "ok" to have friends of the opposite sex. And, you are always invited I don't know if I would call it babysitting, rather, "being" a part of your partners life with those friends and enjoying each others company and that of others, doing things together.

And, when "people" collectively feel he's crossing the line with a friendship, then I would say he is because they "see" as they are outside that box.

Your husband needs to realise that temptation is real. And he needs to realise that being so close constantly with someone leads to temptation as well as disrespect when married to someone, it's like an emotional affair, confiding, laughing, sharing with the opposite sex, that otherwise, I imagine he's not sharing with you.

The deletion of text messages means it's not work related and that's all you need to know isn't it? Because if it was work related they wouldn't be deleted.

To close for comfort why does he feel the need to laugh, joke, confide, share with her and not you.. That's the question you have to ask yourself.

If you love him, now is the time to fight for him.. Time to look very closely at your relationship and why this isn't being shared with you... If your answer is him, everything has always been about him, then it's never going to change but if it's yes, there are things missing in our lives, we aren't laughing and dating, loving and talking then now is the time to bring all that back into your lives.