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  • mnd
    Junior Member
    • Jun 2010
    • 7

    What is going on?

    Okay, so I posted about a year ago about my finace's probelms with inappropriate texting.. Long Story short, I chose to forgive him.. Yadda Yadda
    Wel, it continued of course, but nothing too bad. But the attitude towards me never changed, He still pouts when he doesn't get his way, cusses and says anything on his mind when he's angry, etc...
    So about a month ago I said enough and moved out.. We still talk daily and have a good relationship for the kids but he still gets angry and says mean things and is making me feel guilty for leaving. He says he's changing, but I don't see it- But he just rsponds Well, how can you see the cahnge if you're not home.... and that this seperation is not good for him...
    Am I crazy here? I thought he would be devestated and woo me back..but all I get is words no action..Am I just wanting him to be something he's not? Can people change?
  • jns
    Assistant Admin
    • Mar 2010
    • 8398

    Women can change and often do. Men could possibly change but often don't. Stay strong. He is trying to get you to give in. He does not have to be the way he is.

    Have you two went to counseling?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    ...
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

    Comment

    • CHANDLERS WISH
      • Mar 2008
      • 22440



      If it still happens, and you feel nothing "too bad" then it's possible that some things are hidden.

      If he still cusses you and gets angry, then nothing is going to change.

      You have to "want" to change for a person and for yourself.. In addition he talks of "himself" not it is not good for "us" I think you have your answer, if someone loves someone so much to me, yes, he would go to anger management, and try to show you his love.

      Words are exactly that, just words.
      PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!

      Comment

      • Etain2
        Junior Member
        • Sep 2011
        • 8

        I don't know your whole story and maybe I am overstepping my bounds but I just wanted to share the following. Google "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft. You should be able to get the article he wrote as well, I tried to post a link but it won't let me. Your fiance sounds a bit angry and controlling from just what I read.

        Comment

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