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Caught my man looking at Porn! :(

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  • Caught my man looking at Porn! :(

    Two nights ago, I found Porn on my mans Phone, when i asked him about it he didn't lie and answered all my questions. I asked him if he would turn off his internet and he agreed as well. Hes says it is as simple as he gets hard looks at a picture and thats it. Although we have talked this through, I can't get the images of what i saw out of my head, I find it physically repulsive and I do not understand it.Worse yet he has work 2hrs away from our home and is gone from our daughter and I 5 days out of a week sometimes 6, He works from 5am to 7pm everyday working construction and has no service at work. When he gets home he goes to bed around 9 and we dont get to talk much, because he is so tired. Is it so much to ask that if he is lonely to call me to talk to me to think about me? I know he is sorry and that he Loves his family very much, I even trust him when he says he is done, but I don't feel like i can be sexual to him as I don't feel enough for him anymore, that I am pretty enough or that i can pleaure him the way he needs to be. I am so hurt that he did this, i know he is lonely but so am i, but he is always enough I don't need anyone else. How do i move past this and get the images out of my head?

  • Many women have found that their partners are watching porn rather than being intimate with them, and I think that is a very serious problem. On the other hand, if your sex life is good, and if you are not being rejected, then I'm not sure there is any real harm in his watching porn when you are not available.

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    • Sorry, I could never get those images out of my head either.

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      • I dont think theres anything wrong with looking at porn, aslong as he doesnt put porn before you. He may be missing and thinking about you alot but im sure if hes looking at porn its so he can satisfy himself when your not around.
        If you don't support our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!

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        • You don't spend much time together and if he comes home at 7 and goes to bed at 9 that gives you 2 hours with him at best. Have you considered moving closer to his workplace? This timetable isn't good for anyone at home, let alone your sex life.

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          • I'm gunna tell you the honest truth. And from experience. He didn't look at the pics and just get hard. He masturbated to porn. Guranteed. Do not be fooled. Porn is no good for ANY relationships unless both sides watch and accept it. Other than that, if its sumthing he has to hide. It's cheating. Idc what the anyone else says. It's just wrong. U know he thinks abt those fake hot nude woman while he's
            " making love to you " , iv caught my current.bf SO many times wacking off to porn. Even while I was sleeping, and pregnant, its disgusting. Iv cried and begged , he didn't stop. My self esteem has gone to . And I will tell you. He's doing it still behind your bak. If not at home then sumware else. After years of me crying and crying and said I don't need this in my life, over and over. He still did it. So, one day he came home to me moaning and rubbing myself to two nude hot male porn , he was hurt. And finnnnnnaly understood. After that he was done. Iether u do what I just said I had to do. Or leave him.

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            • Originally posted by ms.donna View Post
              I'm gunna tell you the honest truth. And from experience. He didn't look at the pics and just get hard. He masturbated to porn. Guranteed. Do not be fooled. Porn is no good for ANY relationships unless both sides watch and accept it. Other than that, if its sumthing he has to hide. It's cheating. Idc what the anyone else says. It's just wrong. U know he thinks abt those fake hot nude woman while he's
              " making love to you " , iv caught my current.bf SO many times wacking off to porn. Even while I was sleeping, and pregnant, its disgusting. Iv cried and begged , he didn't stop. My self esteem has gone to . And I will tell you. He's doing it still behind your bak. If not at home then sumware else. After years of me crying and crying and said I don't need this in my life, over and over. He still did it. So, one day he came home to me moaning and rubbing myself to two nude hot male porn , he was hurt. And finnnnnnaly understood. After that he was done. Iether u do what I just said I had to do. Or leave him.

              There are other solutions the solve th problem shes having besides getting revenge on him or just leaving him. Getting revenge on someone just because theyve hurt you is childish and doesnt help your relationship. Also you sound kind rude or bossy with your advice, just because your boyfriend did or didnt do what you asked does not mean that every other man will be the same.

              You simpily need to have a more in depth conversation about this with him or like Stressed said maybe you all should discuss moving closer to his work place to make things better, then youll see him alot more, have time for bonding and sexual activities and maybe he wont be so tired.
              If you don't support our troops, feel free to stand in front of them!

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              • Originally posted by PinkySweet View Post
                There are other solutions the solve th problem shes having besides getting revenge on him or just leaving him. Getting revenge on someone just because theyve hurt you is childish and doesnt help your relationship. Also you sound kind rude or bossy with your advice, just because your boyfriend did or didnt do what you asked does not mean that every other man will be the same.

                You simpily need to have a more in depth conversation about this with him or like Stressed said maybe you all should discuss moving closer to his work place to make things better, then youll see him alot more, have time for bonding and sexual activities and maybe he wont be so tired.
                I don't think it's always revenge, some times one only understands what he does when he sees it done by someone else. In her case it was definitely the last resort she had, as she had tried the discussion and talk approach. Her man was one of many who didn't understand the impact of his actions and only 'got it' once he saw what it was like from the outside. Some times even asking a man to imagine what the reverse would be like makes them stop and understand better.

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                • Good followup, stressed.
                  I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                  ...
                  Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                  From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

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                  • my fiancee told me about them and it's okay for me to let him watch them...it's a boy thing

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                    • I can't get the images out of my head either. I can completely relate. Rationalizing gets the best of me, too. Thinking to myself, at least he's not doing it physically, whilst my heart screams in emotional pain. I told him over and over how I felt about it. He promised he won't do it over and over, and still did it and I caught him red-handed. I packed my things and was about to go...he stopped me. He does have the urge to view things of that nature but he is now better at catching and stopping himself. It's been a bachelor past time for him so it will take time for him to unlearn - granting that's the case.

                      What you don't want to happen is that you completely lose yourself and your self esteem because of his actions. Think. His actions are his major flaw, and nothing to do with you at all. You are beautiful in every way - go back to that and love yourself more. Exercise, pamper yourself, pay attention to your needs and be self - reliant. I remember buying my very first vibrator because of this goal and I don't regret it. I don't use it as I thought I would, but I know that I have a a fall back in case I want to feel loved and cared for by me.

                      Boundaries are set so nobody gets hurt. You've set it (I assume), now, follow through. What are the repercussions for his action - for him not for you....think this through, comeback and discuss with us....share to him how you feel every time you get a good chance since I understand, schedule and timing is a huge factor. Likewise, look into the proximity of his work place and your residence. Is there a way you can move closer?

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