Women's Health Interactive Forums

  • If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ by clicking the link above. You may have to register before you can post: click the register link above to proceed. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Courthouse wedding....future regrets?

Collapse
X
Collapse
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Courthouse wedding....future regrets?

    My fiance proposed to me two weeks ago. We both would prefer a private ceremony with only immediate family, maid of honor, and best man. And then have a reception for close friends after the ceremony. We are doing this for several reasons. First, to save cost. My parents have disowned me because he's does not hold the same spiritual beliefs as they do (they don't care that he holds the same beliefs as I do; it's all about then) so they definitely won't be footing any of the wedding bill. Second, I hate, hate, hate being center of attention; so a big wedding where I would have to mingle with a ton of people would be more stressful than fun for me. We are both fine with this, and we decided if we can save on a wedding, we can splurge a little more on the honeymoon. We didn't want to be the couple of splurged so much on a wedding that they have to stay in a cheap motel for their honeymoon. Anyway, I've heard people who have had court house weddings regret it later on and they wish they had a "real" wedding. I'm liking the court house wedding idea and small reception, but I don't want to regret it down the road either. I mean, we're going to make the wedding day special. While the reception isn't going to be extravagant, we're not going to cheap out on it either.

    My question is, have any of you had courthouse/private ceremonies/elopes/etc....and how did you feel about it a few years down the road? Did you regret not having a real wedding ?
    "Look both ways before you cross the street"

  • If you already know you hate being the center of attention, then I don't believe there will be anything to regret in the future. What could possibly change that would make you want to have a fancy costly wedding where everyone is staring at you the entire time?

    A courthouse wedding is just as "real" as any expensive, done up wedding extravaganza.

    You and your future husband know what you want. Listen to your gut!

    Comment


    • If you want to feel as though you had a wedding other than just a court house wedding you might try searching for small chapels in your area. I was able to find one when my husband and I got married. Like you we didn't have the money to spend on a big ordeal and I'm also not the type of person that likes to be in the spotlight.

      The chapel I found offered different packages based on what you wanted and what your budget allowed. For $300.00 I was able to rent the chapel, have 20 guests, the minister marry us and get pictures. It was a nice little wedding. It was around Christmas so the chapel was decorated nicely.
      There is a method to my madness ........ I just haven't found it yet.

      Comment


      • with my second husband, when my husband and i decided to get married, we both agreed we wanted it to be about us. not about the guests, the presents, the preacher, or any thing else. it was just my huband, his son (age 19), myself and my son (age 20). it was very intimate. i do not regret getting married at the court house (been married for 3 years). it is not about where you get married. it is about who you are marrying. it you are truly in love, then the place does not matter. it is the commitment you make to one another that matters. i also married my first husband at the court house. we were married for 20 years before his alcohol abuse ruined our wonderful bond. so i have been married twice and i have never had a big ceremony or reception. marriages are a lot of time and money and if thats what you want..... go for it. me, like you, didn't want it. i could certainly think of better things to do with $10,000 or even $5,000. good luck to you. follow your heart

        Comment


        • If you want to go for a courthouse wedding, then that is the right choice. Take some nice pictures. Good luck and best wishes.
          I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
          ...
          Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

          From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

          Comment


          • My courthouse marriage was very nice. If you go googling about courthouse marriages, you get this narrative of waiting around while arraignments happen and being married by a judge who doesn't care one fig about you. I had NONE of those experiences. I was married in a little room with lots of old books (some of which were the county's marriage records, which created a nice atmosphere) by the county clerk. We didn't need an outside witness. The ceremony and vows were very quaint and nice, too. It was just what we wanted. I didn't miss the expectation of a big party, expensive dress, and all the stress I saw my engaged friends going through, AT ALL.
            <center><i>Nature gives us shapeless shapes,<br>Clouds and waves and flame,<br>But human expectation is that love remains the same,<br>And when it doesn’t, we point our fingers and blame.</i><br><a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/register.php">Register</a>|<a href="http://www.womens-health.com/boards/members/little.html">Contact Admin</a>|<a href="mailto:support*womens-health.com?subject=Forum Contact">Email Admin</a></center>

            Comment


            • You don't have to have it at the courthouse. My best friend officiated at my wedding, which we had in the woods. Do what you want to do. I have no regrets about not having spent oodles of money, tons of time, and causing myself lots of stress.

              Comment


              • Me and my ex got married and had our honeymoon all in one. We got on a cruise ship, first stop was in Key West, we had a minister/photographer meet us there, married us, and the last 5 days on the cruise were all honeymoon. We had no family at our ceremony, and I never regretted it. I have never been much for weddings anyway. Our wedding cost about $500, the cruise about $2,000.
                “The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.” - William Arthur Ward

                Comment


                • I think you won't regret it. My wedding was in a small courtroom and it was as solemn as can be with only the ones close to us. We went to an Asian Restaurant and just reserved a small room for the reception and then off we drove to our hotel room and started our long adventure to the west coast. It was fun. Our wedding cost us less than $500 (including reception) and our honeymoon cost us about $1,000 (or less). Saved a lot.

                  Comment


                  • When my husband and I got married I wanted to do the samething because planning a wedding is the most stressful thing. However when that day finally comes you're going to remember it for the rest of you're life. I think back now and I'm so happy we had a small wedding and all the pictures to look at. In all honesty if we would have just gone to the courthouse I would have regreted it big time!

                    Comment


                    • Wow, thank you everyone for your encouragement and feedback! It's helped validate my decision for a small wedding. I feel like some brides who have huge wedding just do it because they feel pressured by families or friends. I definitely plan on celebrating the occasion with close friends and family at a casual reception/dancing. I plan on having the flower toss, first dances, etc... I don't want to miss out on that, but I know we can do it in a budgeted way.
                      "Look both ways before you cross the street"

                      Comment


                      • We eloped in a chapel, and had it all paid off in advance. $80 fee, $30 dress, food and tip and we were good to go.
                        It was quick, easy, cheap and included the two people who had supported our relationship the most.

                        My only regret is that I am still not officially married in my church.
                        I am impelled, not to squeak like a grateful and apologetic mouse, but to roar like a lion out of pride in my profession.
                        John Steinbeck

                        I'm a Leo, RAWR! Sun/moon/asc/venus- 1st house.

                        Comment

                        or

                        Womens Health orange logoGet The Newsletter

                        Receive our passionately crafted, medically reviewed articles and insights — the stuff nobody else talks about but you want to know — delivered right to your inbox.

                        Latest Activity On Our Forums

                        Collapse

                        Latest Topics On Our Forums

                        Collapse

                        Working...
                        X