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crazy/cruel husband

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  • crazy/cruel husband

    On a scale from 1 to 10, 1 being the worst and 10 the best, I would rate my marriage about a 4 or 5 because my husband has schizophrenia and a low sex drive. He thinks our neighbors and the people around us atagonize us with their speaker systems. He calls them the "animals". From time to time he will say cruel things to me because of it. He will think I am acting like them. For instance, last night he thought I was mumbling stuff out of the corner of my mouth so he was being extremely cruel by saying he didn't love me anymore and was calling me a nigger. He gives me sex only once every three weeks. He will say we'll do it Monday, but by the time Monday comes around he will cancel it for some reason and say we'll do it Tuesday. Tuesday comes he will cancel it again and say we'll do it Wednesday. Wednesday comes, guess what? Cancels it the third time and the same process continues for the next several days. When he cancels it he tries to make up for it by buying me movies. Right now he wants to get me 16. I try to intiate it sometimes, but it almost never works. He knows I don't like it when he cancels it, but he just says he is not trying upset me. He just doesn't want it because his legs are sore from exercising or something like that. I have more problems than him because I have seizures, but I don't ever let it stop me from wanting sex.

  • Is your husband taking medication to control his schizophrenia? That may affect his sex drive. If not, the schizophrenia may affect his sex drive. Other than that, he sounds very controlling. Can you move somewhere more rural, so he won't be disturbed by the neighbors? Do you take medication to help control your seizures?
    I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
    Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

    From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia


    • If he has been diagnosed, and is medicated, I would recommend getting in contact with his doctor. If he has you listed as someone who can have access to his medical files, you could be very proactive in his progress. A different medication might work, but it seems he needs counseling to help him deal with people and his illness.
      I have talked to schiz clients that are newly diagnosed, getting their meds adjusted, and jostled around the system. To say it politely, it's a nightmare, and no fault of their own.

      On the other hand, I have talked to clients in the mental health system who have multiple disorders, limited resources and a lifetime of medication. They know what is and isn't reality and when they have episodes and how to deal with them if/when they occur.

      I highly recommend that you also get into a support group.
      I am impelled, not to squeak like a grateful and apologetic mouse, but to roar like a lion out of pride in my profession.
      John Steinbeck

      I'm a Leo, RAWR! Sun/moon/asc/venus- 1st house.


      • https://www.womens-health.com/boards...-much-sex.html

        Hi Tara..

        I didn't know that you had seizures?

        In any event people can read up on your thread started when you joined.

        Did you forget your password for Tara43?

        In any event it is not allowed, having two accounts.. I am going to close Tara43... Please stick to your new name, in this instance we will allow it.



        • He does not take medication. I believe he used to in the past, but had put a stop to it for some reason. Not quite sure. I take a medication for my seizures called lamictal. I am trying to get another one called tegretol because I think its better. In about two years we want to move to the city my parents live in, the city I grew up in. Its tens times nicer than where we live now. Its quieter, nicer, has a better school system, and lots of other great qualities.


          • Yes, I forgot the password. Sorry.


            • You have to speak to his parents, or someone to get him to reason and start taking his medication again.

              He's in effect treating you like an animal, much like he calls his neighbours that... He says " good girl and you'll get some" to then "na forget it " and continues, then offers some alternative, dangling carrots.

              He needs his medication sweet.. Calling you a nigger is un-acceptable and surely must hurt you, and all the other words and accusations.

              Is he still bowling with this other girl?
              PUT A LITTLE 'LIKE' IN MY SOUL!


              • No. He hasn't talked to the girl in a while because she got fired from her job. Getting a hold of her on the phone is difficult so he tossed out her the paper with her information on it.


                • Tell him to take his meds, because if he doesn't he will destroy the marriage. People with schizophrenia don't have to be dysfunctional, cruel and "crazy". I have schizophrenia and I am just your average person, no outbursts, no cruelty, no nothing. So you tell him I said he's letting all schizophrenics down and giving us a bad name! Oh yeah and I may be on meds but my sex drive is just fine



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