[nidan]

So we were arguing well actually it was mostly me crying and mentioning everything he has hurt me with and let me down with and he slapped me. We are young 24 anf 26 and we have been married for a year. Anyhow the day that I started panicking and crying he did something else completely unnecessary and hurtful in the morning and he broke my heart with it and all for no reason just as a power message, he doesn't say so but thats what it was. So yeah in the middle of me crying and mentioning all he has done to.hurt me he slapped me, I was so shocked, before I was going through a really tough time in this relationship with him and it is my first relationship so I didn't really know how to communicate so when I would get angry I would just start hitting myself (I come from a very unhealthy home) so sometimes he would try to stop me from.hitting myself by holding me which would leave me bruises but I knew he never meant to hurt me but this was a whole different thing, he apologized saying he was just trying to shake me up cause I was having a panic attack again so I said ok. Then a week later he kept saying "we will never last", I dont know what to make of it, I am really hurt he says these things, he is my only one and I want to spend my life with him but I don't know what should I do

[Ashlee T.]

It sounds like a very unhealthy relationship. There is no excuse for your spouse to hit you. Ever.

On the same note, you are an adult...and if you're having panic attacks, tantrums, or whatever they may be that result in you screaming and hitting yourself then you need to seek some counseling that can perhaps help you past that. We all have our histories...we can't erase them...but as adults we have to do what we can to get past letting our pasts ruin our futures.

[jns]

He should not be hitting you. You should leave and go to a safe place for a while. Otherwise it will create the impression in him that hitting you is OK. Maybe you two are not compatible and should separate. Please give more background on why he would think it is acceptable to slap you.

[Daisy1]

I'm a former police officer and my response is not only from woman to woman but also from one that responded to many domestic violence calls.
I agree with Beautiful Disaster... it is unhealthy and there is NO excuse.

Check this out: National Domestic Violence Hotline. you can visit them on the web at "thehotline" *****

[Claret]

As the others have mentioned, this is an unhealthy, albiet immature relationship. It seems to me that both of you could use some growing up and maturing. Arguing to the point of such personal frustration as to hit oneself is not healthy. Arguing to such an extent that you lose control of yourself is unhealthy. The only person you can control is yourself, but you must learn how to do that before trying to exert any influence on a second person (your husband). He needs to learn how to be with you when you get into these fruges and he needs to learn how to control his own behaviours. Hitting another is never OK. Is there somewhere near you where you could get couples counselling? Is there an anger management facility in a nearby hospital, or could your doctor refer you to some type of resource to help you? It sounds to me that you two perhaps need to mature somewhat and learn how to deal with each other.