[chaya]

You lay down and relax and start getting yourself in the mood (masturbation). When you are almost at climax stop and call him up.

If only that would work for me, but I know it wouldn't. I have never been able to orgasm or even get aroused by masturbation. I've considered trying the hormone treatment my GYN suggested. I don't see how rubbing a cream on my skin would boost my libido but at this point I'm willing to try anything.

In a relationship, we do so many things that we usually don't enjoy/like but we do it because we enjoy/like making our partners happy.

I think the point is that I'm not making him happy. I have sex whenever he asks and it satisfies his physical need for sex but it don't make him happy because he knows I'm not "into it" anymore. There's nothing I can do about that short of learning how to fake it and I wouldn't know where to start with that.

[Darling]

I don't know what kind of stress you have in your life or what causes the seriousness that you mentioned. But maybe you need a day too put your worries aside. Go outside and play with him. Play a physical game foot ball, soccer, go swimming and dunk each other, tickle each other, play hide and seek. I no it sounds silly, but sometimes when I'm stressed out and stuck in my head, not able to get aroused. A day outside freeing my mind and having fun physical contact really helps.

[rcoreyus]

I think it is perfectly reasonable and desirable to sometime do something special sexually for your partner that you don't particularly like. The trick is that you want it to be a "gift", not a "payment". The difference is in both your attitudes - its about whether it felt like something you "had" do to rather than wanted to do.

That aside, for some couples a joking "payment" with sex can be just great. Its a bit of very light role-play that both can enjoy.