[AshB$]

It's every girls' dream come true! I'd love to be spoiled lol but for some odd reason, I feel uncomfortable with him buying me everything. He wants to provide everything. We plan on moving with each other soon. I might have to work a little to help out with getting a place and/or affording food, but he pretty much wants to pay for it all. He said in the future I won't have to work, which I'd love! I just feel a little odd about it. I've never had anything really handed to me. He comes from a wealthy family, while mine was broke and always struggling to pay bills. So of course I would love to have money to get what I need or want.
Is it normal to feel iffy about this? He even wants to hook me up to his debit card so I can have some cash. lol. I would so badly love that, but I feel weird about it.
Is it normal for boyfriends / fiances / husbands to do this? Sorry I'm really not sure. All the adults in my life had been split up. And my ex was broke and kind of expected me to pay for everything.
Thanks.

[asiangrace]

Hi AshB$!!

Yes, this is normal for some! My fiance is the same way. Completely spoils me and wants to provide for me. However, with my personality, I don't like relying on anyone to provide for me. I still work full time and have a back up plan should anything happen. I would suggest the same for you, I think it's okay if you let him take care of you, but make sure that you aren't 100% reliant on him without a back up plan JUST IN CASE anything should happen. You do not want to be left out in the cold.

[AshB$]

I believe you are right. I've heard many women talk about how they got stuck in a bad marriage because they didn't work and they had no other way to live other than rely on their husbands. I just didn't know how many guys actually liked provided for their women.

[jns]

It is common for a fiance or a husband who has the means to support a SO to do this. It is less common for a bf to do this. With the money comes some loss of freedom, not necessarily a bad thing if the dependency strengthens the relationship.

Just because he comes from a wealthy family, it does not mean he has direct access to that wealth. What does he do to make money? I would suggest using the freedom from oppressive bills to go to school and make a career for yourself, if you haven't done so already.

Also, be careful about spending too much of his money. He may be testing you to see if you are reasonably frugal. Frugality is usually necessary to get and stay truly rich, at least at some point. There are many stories about lottery winners who were fabulously wealthy for a while and then were broke again. Being frugal for the rich may include a Mercedes or two, but not "wasting" money on paying the help too much.

[AshB$]

I am so frugal. That is why I am so paranoid about spending any of it. lol

[SaharaJim]

Sounds like a wonderful person. Like others have already said..you do need to have some purpose in your life other than him. Right now you are very interesting and "vital". But what happens after a couple of years and you have stopped growing- just "sit around" and being "taken care of"? Much of what a man wants in a relationship is a person who is interesting to talk to and has interests of thier own. Working a 9 to 5 may not give him and you that "stimulation" but there are all sorts of other pursuits which will and not challenge his "supporter of his family" status. Higher education; "volunteer work"-though an organization or church, work in some specialty field, etc. These pursuits are not about "money" but they are about your growing and maintaining an "interesting" personality. Just sitting and waiting for him to come home from work is going to leave you "unfulfilled" and eventually resentful of him. Let him know that you "treasure"
what he is "giving" but that you also need to learn and grow and sitting around the home will not "do" it. Kiss him and let him know you love the "freedom" he is giving you to pursue whatever you want to do....but DO SOMETHING.

[asiangrace]

It is common for a fiance or a husband who has the means to support a SO to do this. It is less common for a bf to do this. With the money comes some loss of freedom, not necessarily a bad thing if the dependency strengthens the relationship.

Just because he comes from a wealthy family, it does not mean he has direct access to that wealth. What does he do to make money? I would suggest using the freedom from oppressive bills to go to school and make a career for yourself, if you haven't done so already.

Also, be careful about spending too much of his money. He may be testing you to see if you are reasonably frugal. Frugality is usually necessary to get and stay truly rich, at least at some point. There are many stories about lottery winners who were fabulously wealthy for a while and then were broke again. Being frugal for the rich may include a Mercedes or two, but not "wasting" money on paying the help too much.

Could not have said it any better!!!

[terriwatkins]

It will be hard to adjust to, but I'd say like any woman wishing to be in your position to get that cash now! When you're married with children, that will go bye bye. Source: Life experience, sadly

[jamesmarshalls]

That's good for you, Yes that's normal, His doing that because he loves you so much.

[Arthemis]

I don't like the idea of you being so dependant of him. I prefer to make some money of my own so I wouldn't be clueless as to what goes on finacialy.