[DreamP346]

So my husband recently got laid off. I think it is the best thing that has happened to our family since he was working insane hours and basically completely ignoring his family. My husband was never good about helping out with the kids. When we decided to let our nanny go, I was really concerned that my kids would never make it to their sports activities and would live on McDonalds.

To my surprise, my husband has really been trying with the kids. Even though I told him I would continue taking care of the kids in the morning and getting them ready before leaving to my work, he gets up at the same time as me. Today he even made the kids French Toast instead of the usual easy cereal.

I know this is just his job as a father and I did the same (and more) when I didn't work. But this is new to him and I know it has been hard for him to not think of himself as the breadwinner.

How can I show him that I really appreciate what he has done and that the family is better for it?

[lizzardb63]

I'd say compliment him. Just come out and say "You're the best! I appreciate all you do around here so much!" And give him a big smooch. You can also do something sexy for him once the kids are in bed and tell him that it's for helping out so much and you want to show him how much it means to you and how much it's appreciated.

[lizzardb63]

And even though you know YOU'VE done all that for so long and more, he might be resentful if you don't acknowledge the change that's happening even if he doesn't realize all you've done. Personally I think one of the best things you can do is compliment your man when he does something right MORE OFTEN than telling him when he's doing something wrong. By praising a person, they are more likely to do it again because they associate it with feeling good about themselves.

[Hugo-B]

Just tell him the truth in a non patronizing way. I think you are right to be sensitive to his feelings as a man, but even as men there becomes a time when enough is enough - all work and no down time is no way to live - and he sounds like he is actually enjoying the break and the time he is now spending with his children.

You don't mention any financial pressure so assuming you can manage as you are at least in the short term, he is probably grateful for the time off work, especially if his hours really were so hellish.

I hope everything works out :-)

[asiangrace]

Definitely compliment him. Guys need that affirmation too! He'll appreciate that you noticed him trying so hard! Just say, "Thank you for everything you do around here! I notice it and I appreciate it!" And I totally agree with lizzardb63 - guys will tend to keep doing that good thing if you notice and appreciate it! Guys respond better to praise than to critiquing (I know this from experience!) It will keep you both happy

[CHANDLERS WISH]

You know in addition, body language speaks volumes.

In reading that I could see you smile Smile at him when you see things that you want to go aweee, hug him and give him a kiss and simply state words such as "love it when you wake up with me and do this together".. or "what do you want me to cook you for tomorrow's breakfast" and smile, hug, laugh...

Sometimes, showing the appreciation and togetherness works wonders.

Sometimes words can be taken the wrong way.

I know what you probably are also trying to say is "thank you for all those years of hours upon hours you worked for us, you're home now.. I couldn't be happier", and if so? Say it