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Question for the married ladies

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  • Question for the married ladies

    So I go to the beach a lot and to be honest I don't really care for looking at the 21year olds that think they are hot stuff. It's mostly the married ladies who tend to catch my attention. My question is if there is any way I can let them know I appreciate seeing them without coming across as a total creep? Also what are the rules for looking when their husbands are not so far away. As in, I never know if they will find it cute if their husband gets jealous or if they'll be mad at me because it will cause them headaches or if they are going to say "OMG That creeps checking out the boo-tay kick his butt!"

  • My question is if there is any way I can let them know I appreciate seeing them without coming across as a total creep?
    If you are married or in a relationship, nothing. You can smile but if that smile is meant in a "boy I wish I could bang you because you are attractive" then you can easily be labelled a creep. Smiling is fine, staring and ogling is not.

    Also what are the rules for looking when their husbands are not so far away. As in, I never know if they will find it cute if their husband gets jealous or if they'll be mad at me because it will cause them headaches or if they are going to say "OMG That creeps checking out the boo-tay kick his butt!"
    The rule would be do not look, or stare, or try to converse because she is attractive especially if she already has a man. If my bf was ever looking for a way to stare at another woman without being caught, in that sneaky manner then I would go ape ******** on him. And if I told my bf that some guy keeps staring at me and I was getting creeped out he would probably go yell at the guy if I had not already gone up to the guy and made a scene first.
    There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

    Comment


    • For the record, I am not married or I wouldn't be looking at women on the beach other than my wife lol

      Comment


      • The first rule is to use dark sunglasses at all times, because the sun is strong and so no one can see your eyes. Then position yourself so you have plausible deniability: "I was looking at the people playing in the surf" or "I was looking beyond her at the hot 21 year old". The looking at the hot 21 year old works because that is who your attention is supposed to be on. All guys understand this, even gays unless they know you are gay also. Take a break and look at something else in another direction. Show no emotion on your face. A crazy grin is a dead give away. Reading a book can work. Probably you will get bored after a while. Do not start any conversations with her. If you want to say a few words, figure a way to start a genuine conversation with the SO. Maybe he'll introduce you. Go to sleep some of the times. Genuinely waking up from sleep usually disarms a person intent on outing you. Oh yeah, if you tell them you think they are hot, they are going to think you are a creep.

        Maybe I shouldn't give away all of the secrets of my youth.
        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
        ...
        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

        Comment


        • I am not married or I wouldn't be looking at women on the beach other than my wife lol
          So would you extend that to a man looking at your future wife in the manner that you describe? Would you be aggravated or upset that some man married or not is trying to sneak a peak at your wife, trying to get her to realize that he thinks she is attractive despite having you, her husband, right there? In other words would you be okay with your wife looking to accept sexual compliments from another man without you knowing of it?

          As soon as a man is staring at a woman it is almost impossible to not come across as creepy. The smile is usually the simplest form of a complement without it going to far but again if she is married and her husband is right there do not even bother looking. You can thank all the real creeps out there for that one though, you may be an honest man with no intent to cause trouble between a couple but there are men who do not care about the relationships of others and will stare, ogle, and creep women out because they are solely focused on their arousal at the time.

          The first rule is to use dark sunglasses at all times, because the sun is strong and so no one can see your eyes. Then position yourself so you have plausible deniability
          lol yeah that works until women realize that pretty much all men do this and now it does not work for denial of what is happening. Nowadays when a man is wearing sunglasses you can surely assume he is visually trying to take a woman's clothes off because his eyes are covered. The shifty looking around at any woman that passes by is usually the dead giveaway when a man is staring and trying to be "sneaky" about it lol. Men really are not good at covering up their behaviors a lot of the time lol.
          There are those who believe that dictionaries should not merely reflect the times but also protect English from the mindless assaults of the trendy.

          Comment


          • When I've been to the beach with my wife and friends, I know that a few glances go their ways. As long as there are no obvious stares, there is no foul. I agree with IAS about comments: they would be taken to have sexual content. Unfortunately for you, you have no way of knowing of the women's relationships with the men, so its best not to go there and not speak to them.
            I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
            ...
            Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

            From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

            Comment


            • Haha! JNS superb answer! I'll remember these tips for when I want to treat men like a piece of meat!

              Honestly, if I'm on a beach in a bikini, or a little swimsuit, I'm confident enough I'm myself that I don't NEED compliments from random strangers. I don't notice men string at me, and I don't care of they do or not, I have a different agenda. What I really hate is for men to come up to me grinning or telling me how great I look, especially if I'm alone at the time, it scares me. So many men try to take it further and you either make the choice as the woman to be polite, smile, say thanks, and turn away or be rude and ignore. The trouble with being polite is you end up with some creep's hand on your knee.

              Obviously you are just trying to pay a lady a compliment, and even better you are considering how to do this nicely. I hope my post has helped you to see the situation from a female perspective. I would suggest you keep your distance, and like JNS said - sunglasses!
              Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.

              Comment


              • LittlePip, it is not treating a person as a piece of meat. I have never stared at a piece of meat.

                I do like to see a woman's curves, though. I sometimes look at even guys, but that is more risky (kind of like looking at sports figures). Many times it is looking at it in an artistic sense. Does everything seem to fit? Do I like a particular shape or size? Is her hair placed perfectly like she walked out of a salon? Does she work out. Is she tall? Is she short? Is she fat? is she skinny? Does she have musculature in her arms? How strong is her jawline? Etc., etc., etc. When you go to an art museum, do you just do a cursory glance at art or do you look more closely. Of course there the rules are much different.

                If I was to get aroused, yes it would be sexual, but in the vast majority of cases there was nothing even close to arousal. And a lot of time was spent on a nude beach. Arousal was obvious in that case.
                I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                ...
                Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                Comment


                • Haven't you ever drooled over a nice steak, waiting to ravage it?

                  Sounds like any woman, sorry, work of art, would be lucky to be inspected by you!
                  Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.

                  Comment


                  • I don't think there is anything wrong with a harmless smile and maybe a hello... It happens. Just because a person is attached doesn't mean that they cannot appreciate another person's attractiveness. My husband finds it HILARIOUS when he sees guys checking me out. Mostly because I'm just totally oblivious. We were walking through an airport a few months ago and he made some comment about if he had a dollar for every guy he saw turn around and check me out when we walked by, he'd have some good cash, lol. I'm like, what? Your insane, I didn't see any of that.

                    He knows I look at guys and I know he looks at girls. No big deal in my opinion as long as it isn't trashy and creepy. A nice smile or whatever. Like I said, just because a person is married or has a boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't make them any less human and they don't automatically become unattracted to the opposite sex.

                    Comment


                    • JNS beat me to the punch!

                      Just remember OP, women have 35% wider peripheral vision than men, and they check men out with a sideways glance, we have to move our heads more (35% less peripheral vision) and we check women out by looking them up and down. Women actually check men out more than we check out women, we just get caught, and now you know why.

                      If you're single, I would concentrate on the women who are also single, why waste time with married women who are WITH their husbands? I'd head straight for the single babes!

                      There's nothing wrong with an admiring glance, which is different from lecherous staring, but if you want to go around 'complimenting' the married ladies then you're asking for trouble in some form or another, that's my opinion anyway.
                      "The greatest enemy will hide in the last place you will ever look" [I]Julius Caesar[/I]

                      Comment


                      • Originally posted by LittlePip View Post
                        Haven't you ever drooled over a nice steak, waiting to ravage it?

                        Sounds like any woman, sorry, work of art, would be lucky to be inspected by you!
                        I've been in a museum once or twice. I think a painting once sent me a thank you note.
                        I have but one lamp by which my feet are guided, and that is the lamp of experience.
                        ...
                        Shall we gather strength by irresolution and inaction? Shall we acquire the means of effectual resistance by lying supinely on our backs and hugging the delusive phantom of hope, until our enemies shall have bound us hand and foot?

                        From a speech by Patrick Henry on March 23, 1775 at St. John's Church, Richmond, Virginia

                        Comment


                        • I think that there is nothing wrong with being attracted to people other than your SO. It is only a problem if you act inappropriately on that attraction. A glance and a smile seems fine to me.

                          Comment


                          • I will admit, that I like it if I get noticed by a guy. I always did and now that I am not as young and sexy, I like it even more. But if you keep staring, then that would totally creep me out. I would get up and leave. A quick glance to check somebody out is fine. Everybody does it. Doesn't matter if you are looking at the 20 year old in the string bikini or the 55 woman with all the flabbies hanging out. Just don't start.
                            Freedom is just another word for nothing left to lose - Kris Kristofferson and Fred Foster (sung by Janis Joplin)

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